to consider, that for want of common discretion,
the very end of good breeding is wholly perverted; and civility,
intended to make us easy, is employed in laying chains and fetters upon
us, in debarring us of our wishes, and in crossing our most reasonable
desires and inclinations. This abuse reigneth chiefly in the country, as
I found to my vexation, when I was last there, in a visit I made to a
neighbor about two miles from my cousin. As soon as I entered the
parlor, they put me into the great chair that stood close by a huge
fire, and kept me there by force, until I was almost stifled. Then a boy
came in great hurry to pull off my boots, which I in vain opposed,
urging that I must return soon after dinner. In the meantime, the good
lady whispered her eldest daughter, and slipped a key into her hand. The
girl returned instantly with a beer-glass half full of _aqua mirabilis_
and syrup of gillyflowers. I took as much as I had a mind for; but madam
avowed I should drink it off--for she was sure it would do me good,
after coming out of the cold air--and I was forced to obey; which
absolutely took away my stomach. When dinner came in, I had a mind to
sit at a distance from the fire; but they told me it was as much as my
life was worth, and set me with my back just against it. Although my
appetite was quite gone, I resolved to force down as much as I could;
and desired the leg of a pullet. "Indeed, Mr. Bickerstaff," says the
lady, "you must eat a wing, to oblige me;" and so put a couple upon my
plate. I was persecuted at this rate during the whole meal. As often as
I called for small-beer, the master tipped the wink, and the servant
brought me a brimmer of October. Some time after dinner, I ordered my
cousin's man, who came with me, to get ready the horses; but it was
resolved I should not stir that night; and when I seemed pretty much
bent upon going, they ordered the stable door to be locked; and the
children hid my cloak and boots. The next question was, what I would
have for supper. I said I never ate anything at night; but was at last,
in my own defence, obliged to name the first thing that came into my
head. After three hours spent chiefly in apologies for my entertainment,
insinuating to me, "that this was the worst time of the year for
provisions; that they were at a great distance from any market; that
they were afraid I should be starved; and that they knew they kept me to
my loss," the lady went, and left me to h