isappointments--and
elopements and _faux pas_, sufficient for all the comedy-writers of
the present century--the respective claims of Spanish Refugees and
Spitalfields Weavers--charitable concerts and opera benefits--and all
the lumber and light artillery of the _grand monde_.

The _third column_ is almost entirely occupied by "Wanted"
advertisements and we had resolved to pass over all their "Wants;" had
not some of them occurred to us as rather singular, even in these
times of general distress. The first of these is for a respectable
middle-aged woman, as lady's maid--"to understand dress-making,
millinery, hair-dressing, getting-up fine linen, and to be useful and
obliging." All this is reasonable enough; but mark the inducement: "a
clever person fond of the country, and who can bear confinement, will
find this a comfortable situation!" "This is too much." Another is for
a butler and a valet, to "undertake the care and responsibility of a
numerous family:" another is a young man for "a situation in any shop
or warehouse, not particular what:" another of "a nurse, who can cut
and make children's dresses, and instruct them in reading and
spelling;" a school-assistant "to fill the second desk," &c. Next come
a few characteristics of a scientific age--as patent trouser-straps,
to "prevent the dirt getting between the strap and the boot, &c.;" and
patent springs for waistcoat backs--to cause the clothes to fit well
to the shape, &c.--and, above all, a legitimate, scientific _Diaphane_
parasol.

The "Wants" are resumed in the _fourth column_. One is a young man to
be able to walk well; "it is immaterial what he has been accustomed
to."

In the fourth column we find "a family grave to be sold, unused for
nearly 50 years at that period, but partly occupied. _To save
trouble_, price 25_l_." Another advertisement--"to small capitalists"
is a perfect puzzle; for the advertiser will not describe the
"ready-money concern" to be disposed of, but says, "the principal
article of sale is what is consumed, either in a greater or less
degree, by almost every individual." Next is a tallowchandler's
business in a situation which "will command an extensive trade
immediately the new Fleet Market is erected"--rather anticipatory, to
be sure. Another, "worthy of notice," offers for 260 guineas, seven
houses, which cost 800 in building--a tolerable speculation.

The _last column_ commences with a fine brown gelding, (like most
friends)