nk it was very
right of the people to call on him."

"Now hear what the Independent says, and see if you like that, sir,"
cries Barnes, grinning fiercely; and he began to read as follows:--

"'Mr. Independent--I was born and bred a Screwcomite, and am naturally
proud of everybody and everything which bears the revered name of
Screwcome. I am a Briton and a man, though I have not the honour of a
vote for my native borough; if I had, you may be sure I would give it
to our admired and talented representative, Don Pomposo Lickspittle
Grindpauper, Poor House Agincourt, Screwcome, whose ancestors fought
with Julius Caesar against William the Conqueror, and whose father
certainly wielded a cloth yard shaft in London not fifty years ago.

"' Don Pomposo, as you know, seldom favours the town o Screwcome with
a visit.--Our gentry are not of ancient birth enough to be welcome to a
Lady Screwcome. Our manufacturers make their money by trade. Oh, fie
I how can it be supposed that such vulgarians should be received among
the, aristocratic society of Screwcome House? Two balls in the season,
and ten dozen o gooseberry, are enough for them.'"

"It's that scoundrel Parrot," burst out Sir Brian; "because I wouldn't
have any more wine of him--No, it's Vidler, the apothecary. By heavens!
Lady Anne, I told you it would be so. Why didn't you ask the Miss
Vidlers to your ball?"

"They were on the list," cries Lady Anne, "three of them; I did
everything I could; I consulted Mr. Vidler for poor Alfred, and he
actually stopped and saw the dear child take the physic. Why were they
not asked to the ball?" cries her ladyship bewildered; "I declare to
gracious goodness I don't know."

"Barnes scratched their names," cries Ethel, "out of the list, mamma.
You know you did, Barnes; you said you had gallipots enough."

"I don't think it is like Vidler's writing," said Mr. Barnes, perhaps
willing to turn the conversation. "I think it must be that villain Duff
the baker, who made the song about us at the last election;--but hear
the rest of the paragraph," and he continued to read:--

"'The Screwcomites are at this moment favoured with a visit from a
gentleman of the Screwcome family, who, having passed all his life
abroad, is somewhat different from his relatives, whom we all so love
and honour! This distinguished gentleman, this gallant soldier, has come
among us, not merely to see our manufactures--in which Screwcome can
vie with any city in t