d Joseph Andrews; and then she shut the book, sir; and you
should have seen the look she gave me! I own I burst out a-laughing, for
I was a wild young rebel, sir. But she was in the right, sir, and I was
in the wrong. A book, sir, that tells the story of a parcel of servants,
of a pack of footmen and ladies'-maids fuddling in alehouses! Do you
suppose I want to know what my kitmutgars and cousomahs are doing? I am
as little proud as any man in the world: but there must be distinction,
sir; and as it is my lot and Clive's lot to be a gentleman, I won't
sit in the kitchen and boose in the servants'-hall. As for that Tom
Jones--that fellow that sells himself, sir--by heavens, my blood boils
when I think of him! I wouldn't sit down in the same room with such a
fellow, sir. If he came in at that door, I would say, 'How dare you,
you hireling ruffian, to sully with your presence an apartment where my
young friend and I are conversing together? where two gentlemen, I say,
are taking their wine after dinner? How dare you, you degraded villain?'
I don't mean you, sir. I--I--I beg your pardon."

The Colonel was striding about the room in his loose garments, puffing
his cigar fiercely anon, and then waving his yellow bandana; and it was
by the arrival of Larkins, my clerk, that his apostrophe to Tom Jones
was interrupted; he, Larkins, taking care not to show his amazement,
having been schooled not to show or feel surprise at anything he might
see or hear in our chambers.

"What is it, Larkins?" said I. Larkins' other master had taken his leave
some time before, having business which called him away, and leaving me
with the honest Colonel, quite happy with his talk and cigar.

"It's Brett's man," says Larkins.

I confounded Brett's man, and told the boy to bid him call again. Young
Larkins came grinning back in a moment, and said:

"Please, sir, he says his orders is not to go away without the money."

"Confound him again," I cried. "Tell him I have no money in the house.
He must come to-morrow."

As I spoke, Clive was looking in wonder, and the Colonel's countenance
assumed an appearance of the most dolorous sympathy. Nevertheless,
as with a great effort, he fell to talking about Tom Jones again, and
continued:

"No, sir, I have no words to express my indignation against such a
fellow as Tom Jones. But I forgot that I need not speak. The great and
good Dr. Johnson has settled that question. You remember what he said to
Mr