lness combined with
temperance; that's the ideal."

"I'll tell you what 'appened only last night," commenced Mrs.
Postwhistle, seating herself the opposite side of the loo-table. "A
letter came for 'im by the seven o'clock post. I'd seen 'im go out two
hours before, and though I'd been sitting in the shop the whole blessed
time, I never saw or 'eard 'im pass through. E's like that. It's like
'aving a ghost for a lodger. I opened 'is door without knocking and went
in. If you'll believe me, 'e was clinging with 'is arms and legs to the
top of the bedstead--it's one of those old-fashioned, four-post
things--'is 'ead touching the ceiling. 'E 'adn't got too much clothes
on, and was cracking nuts with 'is teeth and eating 'em. 'E threw a
'andful of shells at me, and making the most awful faces at me, started
off gibbering softly to himself."

"All play, I suppose? No real vice?" commented the interested Mr. Clodd.

"It will go on for a week, that will," continued Mrs. Postwhistle--"'e
fancying 'imself a monkey. Last week he was a tortoise, and was crawling
about on his stomach with a tea-tray tied on to 'is back. 'E's as
sensible as most men, if that's saying much, the moment 'e's outside the
front door; but in the 'ouse--well, I suppose the fact is that 'e's a
lunatic."

"Don't seem no hiding anything from you," Mrs. Postwhistle remarked Mr.
Clodd in tones of admiration. "Does he ever get violent?"

"Don't know what 'e would be like if 'e 'appened to fancy 'imself
something really dangerous," answered Mrs. Postwhistle. "I am a bit
nervous of this new monkey game, I don't mind confessing to you--the
things that they do according to the picture-books. Up to now, except
for imagining 'imself a mole, and taking all his meals underneath the
carpet, it's been mostly birds and cats and 'armless sort o' things I
'aven't seemed to mind so much."

"How did you get hold of him?" demanded Mr. Clodd. "Have much trouble in
finding him, or did somebody come and tell you about him?"

"Old Gladman, of Chancery Lane, the law stationer, brought 'im 'ere one
evening about two months ago--said 'e was a sort of distant relative of
'is, a bit soft in the 'ead, but perfectly 'armless--wanted to put 'im
with someone who wouldn't impose on 'im. Well, what between 'aving been
empty for over five weeks, the poor old gaby 'imself looking as gentle as
a lamb, and the figure being reasonable, I rather jumped at the idea; and
old Gl