Mr. Quirk, it's not to be thought of for a moment--not for a
moment," interrupted Gammon, seriously, and even somewhat
peremptorily--"nothing should persuade _me_ to be any party to such"----

At this moment Snap burst into the room with a heated appearance, and a
chagrined air----

"_Pitch_ v. _Grub_----" he commenced breathlessly--

[This was a little pet action of poor Snap's: it was for slander
uttered by the defendant (an hostler) against the plaintiff, (a waterman
on a coach stand,) charging the plaintiff with having _the mange_, on
account of which a woman refused to marry him.]

"Pitch v. Grub--just been tried at Guildhall. Witness bang up to the
mark--words and special damage proved; slapping speech from Sergeant
Shout. Verdict for plaintiff--but only one farthing damages; and Lord
Widdrington said, as the jury had given one farthing for damages, _he_
would give him another for costs,[10] and that would make a halfpenny;
on which the defendant's attorney tendered me--a halfpenny on the spot.
Laughter in court--move for new trial first day of next term, and tip
his lordship a rattler in the next Sunday's _Flash_!"

"Mr. Quirk," said Gammon, sternly, "once for all, if this sort of low
business is to go on, I'll leave the firm, come what will!" [It
flickered across his mind that Titmouse would be a capital client to
start with on his own account.] "I protest our names will quite stink in
the profession."

"Good, Mr. Gammon, good!" interposed Snap, warmly; "your little action
for the usury penalties the other day came off so uncommon well! the
judge's compliment to you was _so_ nice"----

"Let me tell you, Mr. Snap," interrupted Gammon, reddening----

"Pho! Come! Can't be helped--fortune of the war,"--interrupted the head
of the firm,--"there's only one thing to be looked to,--_Is Pitch
solvent?_--of course we've security for costs out of pocket--eh, Snap?"

Now the fact was, that poor Snap had picked up Pitch at one of the
police offices, and, in his zeal for business, had undertaken his case
on pure speculation, relying on the apparent strength of the plaintiff's
case--Pitch being only a waterman attached to a coach stand. When,
therefore, the very ominous question of Mr. Quirk met Snap's ear, he
suddenly happened (at least, he chose to appear to think so) to hear
himself called for from the clerk's room, and bolted out of Mr. Gammon's
room rather unceremoniously.

"Snap will be the ruin of the firm,