e couldn't at the weddin'; and Sam
Crawford said he believed if Gabriel was to come down and blow his
trumpet, Uncle Jim would git up and begin to sing.

"It wouldn't 'a' been so bad if he'd had any sort of a voice; but he'd
been singin' all his life and hollerin' at protracted meetin's ever
since he got religion, till he'd sung and hollered all the music out
of his voice, and there wasn't much left but the old creaky machinery.
It used to make me think of an old rickety house with the blinds
flappin' in the wind. It mortified us terrible to have any of the
Methodists or Babtists come to our church. We was sort o' used to the
old man's capers, but people that wasn't couldn't keep a straight face
when the singin' begun, and it took more grace than any of us had to
keep from gittin' mad when we seen people from another church laughin'
at our choir.

"The Babtists had a powerful protracted meetin' one winter. Uncle Jim
was there to help with the singin', as a matter of course, and he
begun to git mightily interested in Babtist doctrines. Used to go home
with 'em after church and talk about Greek and Hebrew words till the
clock struck twelve. And one communion Sunday he got up solemn as a
owl and marched out o' church jest before the bread and wine was
passed. Made out like he warn't sure he'd been rightly babtized. The
choir was mightily tickled at the idea o' gittin' shed o' the old
pest, and Sam Crawford went to him and told him he was on the right
track and to go ahead, for the Babtists was undoubtedly correct, and
if it wasn't for displeasin' his father and mother he'd jine 'em
himself. And then--Sam never could let well enough alone--then he went
to Bush Elrod, the Babtist tenor, and says he, 'I hear you're goin'
to have a new member in your choir.' And Bush says, 'Well, if the old
idiot ever jines this church, we'll hold his head under the water so
long that he won't be able to spile good music agin.' And then he give
Uncle Jim a hint o' how things was; and when Uncle Jim heard that the
Presbyterians was anxious to git shed of him, he found out right away
that all them Greek and Hebrew words meant sprinklin' and infant
babtism. So he settled down to stay where he was, and hollered
louder'n ever the next Sunday.

"The old man was a good enough Christian, I reckon; but when it come
to singin', he was a stumblin'-block and rock of offense to the whole
church, and especially to the choir. The first thing Sally Ann sai