ry, but I fancy the horn should be ground small and mixed in all
you eat and drink. If I am wrong, send me word when it begins to take
effect, and I will make a point of arriving in time to give you a
thumping big funeral. But by the horn, (not now, alas! by the
buffalo,) there hangs a _tale_. The animal charged me in the most
ferocious manner when I was passing peaceably upon my lawful occasions,
and had I not snatched my gun from my boy, who promptly bolted, your
dearest wish would now be fulfilled. But the trusty weapon did not
play me false, and on mature reflection, I have decided not to lay the
beast's malice to your account, for lack of evidence. To all
appearances it was the wildest wild beast in Asia, but hardly were my
escort come up to view the spoil and acclaim my prowess, than there
arrived also a wretched cultivator, swearing with tears and howls that
I had wantonly destroyed the friend of his family, the mainstay of his
lowly cot. I held a court on the spot, and desired to know what sum
would compensate him for this cruel loss. The opportunity of taking in
the stranger was too promising to resist, and he requested leave to
retire and consult with his friends--an interval I employed in making
inquiry as to the market price of buffaloes in that neighbourhood.
Returning, the honest man named a sum that would have bought him a
dozen, at the lowest computation. Remembering Colonel A.'s maxims
regarding kindness to the people, I was in some doubts whether to pay
the demand and put it down to office expenses, but reflected in time
that my appearance in public would in that case be the signal for
loosing against me droves of charging buffaloes wherever I went. I
brought the fellow down, therefore, to something like two and a half
times the value of the very best bull ever bred in Granthistan, but as
he was retiring, with difficulty concealing his smiles over the Sahib's
_gullibility_, I called him smartly back, and fined him one and a half
times the value of the said ideal bull for damage to my person and
dignity by allowing his ill-conditioned beast to roam at large and
uncontrolled. If the judgment of Solomon was received with one-half
the applause and admiration that greeted mine, then Solomon must have
been an insufferable person to converse with for at least a twelvemonth
after. If you are flush of cash, then, I can recommend
buffalo-shooting as a tolerable amusement, but if not, let me suggest
tha