Fanny too
well, but respected age too much to lean hard on the old gentleman's
weakness, or seek to reduce his fancied superiority as a collector; but
the tooth, the ill-omened tooth, at last gnawed asunder the bond of
friendship and affection which had subsisted between the two families
for so many years.

The Major had paraded his tooth so often, that Dick Dawson began to
tire of it, and for the purpose of making it a source of amusement to
himself, he stole his father's keys, one day, and opening the cabinet
in which his tooth was enshrined, he abstracted the grinder which
nature had bestowed on the Major, and substituted in its stead a
horse's tooth of no contemptible dimensions. A party some days after
dined with the old gentleman, and after dinner the story of the
skirmish turned up, as a matter of course, and the enormous size of the
tooth wound up the tedious tale.

"Hadn't you better show it to them, sir?" said Dick, from the foot of
the table.

"Indeed, then, I will," said the Major, "for it really is a curiosity."

"Let me go for it, sir," said Dick, well knowing he would be refused.

"No, no," answered his father, rising; "I never let any one go to my
pet cabinet but myself;" and so saying he left the room, and proceeded
to his museum. It has been already said, that the Major's mind was of
that character, which once being satisfied of anything could never be
convinced of the contrary; and having for years been in the habit of
drawing his own tooth out of his own cabinet, the increased size of the
one which he now extracted from it never struck him; so he returned to
the dining-room, and presented with great exultation to the company the
tooth Dick had substituted. It may be imagined how the people stared,
when an old gentleman, and moreover a major, declared upon his honour,
that a great horse's tooth was his own; but having done so, politeness
forbade they should contradict him, more particularly at the head of
his own table, so they smothered their smiles as well as they could,
and declared it was the most wonderful tooth they ever beheld: and
instead of attempting to question the fact, they launched forth in
expressions of admiration and surprise, and the fable, instead of being
questioned, was received with welcome, and made food for mirth. The
difficulty was not to laugh; and in the midst of twisted mouths,
affected sneezing, and applications of pocket-handkerchiefs to
rebellious cachinnations, Di