for dear little Amy's, and have worked a
little for that; but it has been a real pleasure and enjoyment to me,
and has never involved one moment's self-sacrifice."
Modesty will not allow me to put down here all that Milly and Bessie in
their partial affection said to persuade me that I was not altogether a
useless member of society at large. Delightful as it was to hear, it
did not succeed in quieting my newly awakened conscience or sense of
responsibility; and perhaps Milly on her part did not intend that it
should do so.
"She evidently must be furnished with an _object_," said Bessie;
"nothing else will satisfy her; and as she seems to have something of
the feeling of the monks and nuns of old, that the more disagreeable
the duty the greater the credit, let us satisfy her by finding her a
most unpleasant one. Oh, charming! I have thought of just the
thing.--Why not adopt as your particular charge, Amy, that most
unattractive young cripple, Matty Blair? She will probably satisfy all
your longings for self-sacrifice, in a way which can leave nothing to
be desired."
"The very thing," I answered, delighted to have found so soon an
"object" on which to expend the benevolent yearnings with which I had
been seized,--not so suddenly as Milly and Bessie believed; for, for
some time past, I had had a secret and rather unwelcome consciousness
that I was not doing my share toward mitigating the general load of
human misery and ignorance,--a consciousness which Allie's words had
only quickened into more active life. "But, girls, I assure you that I
am not at all moved by the ascetic notion of taking up the most
disagreeable work I can find, as a penance for former shortcomings. I
wish from my heart that Matty Blair was pretty and straight and sweet,
a typical little story-book pauper, whom it would be a pleasure to
befriend, and who would respond amicably to my advances. Matty, from
what I know of her, will be far from being all that; nevertheless I
shall take her up, and see what can be done for her."
"Consult mother first, dear," said Milly. "She may see objections: they
say that Matty's parents are dreadful people, and they may choose to
make trouble for you. There are cases, you know, where people expect
you to _pay_ for being allowed to confer benefits upon them."
"I wish that we could remove the child, or both the children, entirely
from the father and mother," I said.
"They will never allow that while the poor
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