he Inspector, cleared his throat, and
stated the charge: "On the 6th instant, y'r Worships, at 10.45 in the
evening, being on duty in the neighbourhood of Lobb's Barn," etc.
Defendant, on being arrested, had used the filthiest language, and
had for some time stoutly resisted being marched off to the lock-up.

"That will do," the Chairman interrupted. "You, Edwards--if that's
your real name--"

"It'll do for this job," put in the prisoner.

"Very well. Have you anything to say?"

The prisoner ran his eye along the array of Justices.

"Seems a lot o' dogs for one bone!"

The Admiral stiffened with wrath, and the crimson of his face
deepened as Lord Rattley threw himself back in his chair, laughing.

"Forty shillings, or a month!"

"Oh, come--I say!" Lord Rattley murmured.

The Admiral, glancing to right and left, saw, too, that three or four
of his colleagues were lifting their eyebrows in polite protest.

"I--I beg your pardon, gentlemen, for not consulting you! Correct
me, if you will. I would point out, however, that in addition to the
offence with which he is charged, this fellow was guilty of violent
and disgusting language, and, further, of resisting the police."

But his colleagues made no further protest, and Thomas Edwards,
having but two coppers to his name, was conducted below to the
cellarage, there to await transference to the County Jail.

"Selina Trudgian!"

The Admiral, viewing the young couple as they stood sheepishly before
him, commanded Selina to state her complaint as briefly as possible,
avoiding tears.

But this was beyond her.

"He came home drunk, your Worship," she sobbed, twisting her
handkerchief.

"I didn'," corrected her husband.

"He came home d-drunk, your Worship . . . he c-came home d-drunk--"

"Now hearken to me, you two!"

The Admiral, fixing a severe eye on them, started to read them a
lesson on married life, with its daily discipline, its constant
obligation of mutual forbearance. For a confirmed bachelor, he did
it remarkably well; but it must be recorded that this was not by any
means his first essay in lecturing discordant spouses from the Bench.
Lord Rattley, whose own matrimonial ventures had been (like Mr.
Weller's researches in London) extensive and peculiar, leaned back
and followed the discourse with appreciation, his elbows resting on
the arms of his chair, his finger-tips delicately pressed together,
his gaze pensively tracking the motions of a