up with it these six or seven years past, lest by
foregoing it I should let some unknown good escape me, in the true
time of it, and only discover my fault when too late; and now that I
have done most of what is to be done, _any_ lodge in a garden of
cucumbers for me! I don't even care about reading now--the world, and
pictures of it, rather than writings about the world! But you must
read books in order to get words and forms for 'the public' if you
_write_, and _that_ you needs must do, if you fear God. I have no
pleasure in writing myself--none, in the mere act--though all pleasure
in the sense of fulfilling a duty, whence, if I have done my real
best, judge how heart-breaking a matter must it be to be pronounced a
poor creature by critic this and acquaintance the other! But I think
you like the operation of writing as I should like that of painting or
making music, do you not? After all, there is a great delight in the
heart of the thing; and use and forethought have made me ready at all
times to set to work--but--I don't know why--my heart sinks whenever I
open this desk, and rises when I shut it. Yet but for what I have
written you would never have heard of me--and _through_ what you have
written, not properly _for_ it, I love and wish you well! Now, will
you remember what I began my letter by saying--how you have promised
to let me know if my wishing takes effect, and if you still continue
better? And not even ... (since we are learned in magnanimity) don't
even tell me that or anything else, if it teases you,--but wait your
own good time, and know me for ... if these words were but my own, and
fresh-minted for this moment's use!...

Yours ever faithfully,

R. BROWNING.

[Footnote 1: Aeschylus, _Prometheus_, 228ff.:

'When at first
He filled his father's throne, he instantly
Made various gifts of glory to the gods.']

[Footnote 2: _Ib._ 439, 440:

'For see--their honours to these new-made gods,
What other gave but I?']

[Footnote 3: _Ib._ 231, 232:

'Alone of men,
Of miserable men, he took no count.']

[Footnote 4: _Ib._ 235: 'But I dared it.']

[Footnote 5: _Ib._ 11: 'Leave off his old trick of loving man.']

[Footnote 6: _Ib._ 443, 444:

'Being fools before,
I made them wise and true in aim of soul.']

[Footnote 7: _Ib._ 25