He was so sure of it that he
wanted to turn round. But he did not dare.

"I wish I'd known. We--we might have gone together. I used to be very
fond of a good circus. Did they have elephants? Robert--Robert, dear,
why didn't you tell me about it?"

He shook his head. He knew now that he could never have told her or made
her understand. She would have thought him silly--or disloyal. She would
never see that this new love had nothing to do with the Robert who would
die if Christine left him. It had to do with another boy who longed for
bands and processions and worshipped happy, splendid people who did not
have to tell lies and who were so strong and fearless that even fierce
animals had to obey them. They were different. They did not live in the
same life. You could love them without pain or pity.

It was a secret thing, inside himself. If he tried to drag it out and
show it her, no one could tell what would happen to it.

She sighed deeply.

"It's this being away all day. If I had been at home you would have asked
me for the money, wouldn't you? And then you forgot to tell me. But I've
been a little worried. You didn't take it all, did you, dear?"

"Yes, I did. I spent it at the Circus. And then I gave some to Cosgrave."

He saw the blood rush up wildly into her white face. The next minute she
had laughed--a gay, unfamiliar laugh--and he winced and shivered as though
she had struck him.

"Why, that's so like your father--that's just what your father would have
done. He loved doing kind, generous things--giving money away."

And now he knew for certain who it was who stood behind him in the dark
passage. He could not bear it. He slammed the door to, closing his eyes
tight so that he should not see. He ran to her, pressing himself against
her, stammering passionately.

"I'm not like my father--I'm not--I'm not. I won't be."

She petted him tenderly. She was grave now and sure of herself.

"You mustn't say that, Robert. Your father was a wonderful man, in many
ways. People didn't understand him--only your mother and I. If your
mother had lived it would all have been quite different. He was
unfortunate and often very unhappy. The world thinks so much of money.
But he despised it. It was nothing to him. You're like that too. You
didn't realize, did you? It didn't seem a great deal. It was just a
beginning. But I have had to do without food. I've been hungry
sometimes--I thi