lthough we pay for everything connected with the battalion, we should
do something more. We ought to subscribe a sum to pay our excellent
officers for commanding us!"

And PORTHOS, ATHOS, and ARAMIS refused the suggestion, to the great
disappointment of their subordinates.

PART II.--_TWENTY YEARS AFTERWARDS._

LIEUTENANT PORTHOS, Captain ATHOS, and Major ARAMIS were once again
being inspected by D'ARTAGNAN, now wearing the gold and crimson scarf
of a general officer.

"Yes, I have a complaint to make," replied one of the rank and file,
in reply to the customary interrogation. "We have three officers; but
they have merely to give orders, while we have to obey them. This is
unfair--unjust. We are always at work."

"Yes," returned General D'ARTAGNAN, "and so are they."

"True enough. We feel that, although they pay everything for the
battalion, they should do more. They ought to compensate their
excellent privates for the time we devote to obeying them."

And PORTHOS, ATHOS, and ARAMIS accepted the suggestion, to the great
delight of their subordinates.

PART III.--_TEN YEARS LATER._

Lieutenant PORTHOS, Captain ATHOS, and Major ARAMIS were yet again on
parade.

"I salute you, my friends," said Field Marshal D'ARTAGNAN, the
inspecting officer. "But where is your Regiment?"

PORTHOS looked at ATHOS, and ATHOS glanced at ARAMIS. Then they
replied in a breath, "It has been disbanded."

"Disbanded!" echoed D'ARTAGNAN. "But where are the accounts of the
Corps?"

Then the three friends replied in a mournful tone, "Filed in the Court
of Bankruptcy!"

"And what do you call this filing of officers' accounts in the Court
of Bankruptcy?"

"We call it the last act of the Volunteer Movement, which, by the way,
however, was not entirely voluntary!"

And the four friends having no further occupation requiring their
joint attention, shook hands warmly, and parted--for ever!

* * * * *

MEN WHO HAVE TAKEN ME IN--TO DINNER.

(_BY A DINNER-BELLE._)

NO. I.--THE OVER-CULTURED UNDERGRADUATE.

[Illustration]

He stood, as if posed by a column,
Awaiting our hostess' advance;
Complacently pallid and solemn,
He deigned an Olympian glance.
Icy cool, in a room like a crater,
He silently marched me down-stairs,
And Mont Blanc could not freeze with a greater
Assurance of grandeur and airs.

I questioned if Balliol was jolly--
"Your epithet," sighed he, "m