* *

PECADILLA is a full, fruity, gout-giving, generous, heady wine, smooth
on the palate, round in the mouth, full of body, wing, character, and
crust.

* * * * *

PECADILLA may be safely offered at funerals.

* * * * *

PECADILLA is a beverage for Dukes in distressed circumstances.

* * * * *

PECADILLA _is the wine, par excellence_, for the retrenching.

* * * * *

PECADILLA, mixed with citrate of soda, treacle, and soda-water, and
drunk in the dark immediately after a glass of hot ginger brandy, will
be found to possess all the quality of a low-priced Champagne.

* * * * *

PECADILLA is the making of an economical wedding breakfast.

* * * * *

PECADILLA. A few parcels of this unique and delicious Wine are still
to be had of the grower, a Sicilian Count, for the moment resident in
Houndsditch, at the nominal price, inclusive of the bottles, of five
shillings and ninepence the dozen.

* * * * *

TO MR. RUDYARD KIPLING.

(_AN EXPLANATION._)

["Every minute of my time during 1891 is already mortgaged. In
1892 you may count upon me."--Mr. JEROME K. JEROME, _not_ Mr.
RUDYARD KIPLING. _See "Punch," Feb. 14_.]

Oh, Mr. KIPLING!--you whose pungent pen
Of pirate publishers has been the terror,
Try hard, I beg you, to forgive me, when
I openly confess I wrote in error.

It was not you by whom the deed was done.
But Mr. JEROME 'twas who wrote and said he
Could not contribute, since his Ninety-One
Was mortgaged to the Editors already.

'Twas rough on you, indeed, in such a way,
By thinking you were he, to dim your glory.
Yet pray believe I really grieve to say
I mixed you up with quite "another story"!

* * * * *

DRAMATIC ILLUSTRATION OF AN ADVERTISEMENT.--In one of the advertising
columns of the _Times_ the paragraph appeared one day last week. The
newspaper containing it lay on the table of a drawing-room. Elderly
beau was making up (he was accustomed to making-up in another sense,
as his wig and whiskers could testify) to charming young lady. Such
was the scene. He asked her to accept him. Her reply was to show him
the heading of this advertisement in the _Times_:--"YOUTH WANTED."
_Tableau! Exit