***

Newcastle Justices have extinguished eight licences for redundancy.
There is no reason for supposing that the offence was intentional.

***

The report that the prehistoric flint axe recently found at Ascot had
been claimed by Sir FREDERICK BANBURY, M.P., is denied. Sir FREDERICK,
it appears, merely expressed warm approval of it.

***

The Manchester Parks Committee is considering the question of opening
the Municipal Golf Links for Sunday play. It is contended that the
more anti-Sabbatarian features of the game could be eliminated by
allowing players to pick out of a bunker without penalty.

***

Much advice has recently appeared in the Press regarding the treatment
of bites received from mad dogs, and in consequence there is a
movement on foot among Missionaries to obtain some information
regarding the best method of treating the bite of a cannibal.

***

A Chicago woman has been charged with attempting to shoot her husband
with a jewelled and gold-handled revolver. We are pleased to note that
the American authorities are determined to put down such ostentation.

***

It has come to our ears that a certain Conscientious Objector now
feels so ashamed of his refusal to fight that he has practically
decided to take boxing lessons by post.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHAT'S THAT THING YOU'VE GOT ON, ALBERT?"

"TRENCH COAT."

"BUT YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN THE TRENCHES."

"I KNOW. THAT'S THE IDEA."]

* * * * *

LETTERS TO PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW.

_(No answers required, thank you.)_

_To Count Brockdorff-Rantzau, Head of the German Peace Delegation._

The enthralling volume, entitled _Preliminary Terms of Peace_, on
which your attention is being engrossed at the present moment, is said
to be of the same length as _A Tale of Two Cities_. In other respects
there is little resemblance traceable between the two works. A more
striking likeness is to be found between the present volume and a
document produced (also in the neighbourhood of Paris) by the late
Prince BISMARCK in 1871. On your return home, if the fancy appeals
to you, you might, out of these two publications, construct a very
readable romance and call it _Two Tales of One City_. I think this
would be a better name for it than _Vice-Versailles._

_To Signor Orlando_.

Apart from our love for Italy we are, of course, naturally
prej