RY WEDNESDAY AND THURSDAY."

THAT CLINCHED IT. HIDING HER SURPRISE AS WELL AS SHE COULD UNDER AN
IRREPROACHABLE BONNET AND TOUPEE, MRS. MILTON EXPRESSED HER READINESS
TO ACCOMPANY ME THEN AND THERE, AND TO SUPERINTEND THE DISAPPEARANCE
OF MY COALS AND MARMALADE.

PERHAPS YOU HAVE GUESSED THAT I PROPOSE TO SPEND EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT
AT FRESHFIELD'S PLACE, AND THAT THE COMPLETE SUCCESS OF THE SCHEME HAS
BEEN ASSURED BY THE MAKING OF A SIMILAR AGREEMENT BETWEEN FRESHFIELD
AND A PERSON HOLDING CORRESPONDING VIEWS TO THOSE OF MRS. MILTON.

THUS FRESHFIELD AND I HAVE EACH SECURED THE FULL SEVEN DAYS'
ATTENDANCE BY A DEVICE PLEASING TO ALL CONCERNED. AFTER LOCKING UP
THE MELBA AND GEORGE ROBEY RECORDS ON WEDNESDAY MORNINGS AND WITH
THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE PIANO IS PAST SERIOUS INJURY, I DEPART FOR
FRESHFIELD'S (_VIA_ THE CLUB FOR LUNCH) EACH WEEK WITH A LIGHT HEART.

MY COLLABORATOR IS ALL FOR KEEPING THIS SOLUTION OF A HARASSING
PROBLEM TO OURSELVES. I SAY "NO." THE GENERAL ADOPTION OF SUCH A
SCHEME, WITH ALTERATIONS TO SUIT INDIVIDUAL CASES, WOULD, I THINK, BE
A NAIL IN THE COFFIN OF BOLSHEVISM IN THE HOME.

* * * * *

MR. WILSON RUBS IT IN.

"THE _ECHO DE PARIS_ SAYS, 'MR. WILSON BELIEVES HE CAN PLAY
THE ROLE OF THE POPES OF THE MIDDLE AGES. IN THE ECLAT OF
HIS PUBLIC MESSAGES HE TRIES TO SET PEOPLES AGAINST
GOVERNMENTS.'"--_SCOTS PAPER_.

* * * * *

"GENERAL MONASH MAKING AN IMPOSING FIGURE ON HIS GREY
HORSE, WHERE HE RODE WITH GENERAL HOBBS AND THREE
BRIGADIERS."--_TIMES_.

THE R.S.P.C.A. MUST LOOK INTO THIS.

* * * * *

"GOLF BATTLE OF THE SEXES.

THE LATEST JACK JOHNSON STORY IS THAT HE IS TRAINING IN MEXICO
CITY FOR A SERIES OF FIGHTS, WHICH WILL TAKE PLACE IN THE
BULL-RING.

LADIES: MISS CECIL LEITCH, MISS CHUBB, MISS BARRY, MRS.
MCNAIR, MRS. JILLARD, MRS. F.W. BROWN, MISS JONES PARKER AND
MRS. WILLOCK POLLEN."--_DAILY SKETCH_.

WE ARE RATHER SORRY FOR MASSA JOHNSON.

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION: _BORED CADET (IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY)._ "LET'S SHOVE OFF
NOW, MATER. HATE HANGIN' ROUND A PLACE WHERE ONE MIGHT BE BURIED SOME
DAY!"]

* * * * *

THE CHURCH AND PEACE.

The acquiescence of the Coventry Peace Celebration Committee in the
Bishop of COVENTRY'S view that the Lady GODIVA of their