artless innocence, and her manner,
equally beyond comparison or description. But her indifference, Belford!
--That she could resolve to sacrifice me to the malice of my enemies; and
carry on the design in so clandestine a manner--and yet love her, as I
do, to phrensy!--revere her, as I do, to adoration!--These were the
recollections with which I fortified my recreant heart against her!--Yet,
after all, if she persevere, she must conquer!--Coward, as she has made
me, that never was a coward before!

[He concludes his fourth letter in a vehement rage, upon her repulsing
him, when he offered to salute her; having supposed, as he owns, that
she would have been all condescension on his proposals to her.]

This, says he, I will for ever remember against her, in order to steel my
heart, that I may cut through a rock of ice to hers; and repay her for
the disdain, the scorn, which glowed in her countenance, and was apparent
in her air, at her abrupt departure for me, after such obliging behaviour
on my side, and after I had so earnestly pressed her for an early day.
The women below say she hates me; she despises me!--And 'tis true: she
does; she must.--And why cannot I take their advice? I will not long,
my fair-one, be despised by thee, and laughed at by them!

Let me acquaint thee, Jack, adds he, by way of postscript, that this
effort of hers to leave me, if she could have been received; her sending
for a coach on Sunday; no doubt, resolving not to return, if she had gone
out without me, (for did she not declare that she had thoughts to retire
to some of the villages about town, where she could be safe and private?)
have, all together, so much alarmed me, that I have been adding to the
written instructions for my fellow and the people below how to act in
case she should elope in my absence: particularly letting Will. know what
he shall report to strangers in case she shall throw herself upon any
such with a resolution to abandon me. To these instructions I shall
further add as circumstances offer.

LETTER XXXIV

MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
THURSDAY, MAY 18.

I have neither time nor patience, my dear friend, to answer every
material article in your last letters just now received. Mr. Lovelace's
proposals are all I like of him. And yet (as you do) I think, that he
concludes them not with the warmth and earnestness which we might
naturally have expected from him. Never in my life did I hear or r