Thus, here is what Sand wrote in his diary on the 5th of May.

"Lord, what causes this melancholy anguish which has again taken
possession of me? But a firm and constant will surmounts everything, and
the idea of the country gives joy and courage to the saddest and the
weakest. When I think of that, I am always amazed that there is none
among us found courageous enough to drive a knife into the breast of
Kotzebue or of any other traitor."

Still dominated by the same thought, he continues thus on the 18th of
May:--

"A man is nothing in comparison with a nation; he is a unity compared
with millions, a minute compared with a century. A man, whom nothing
precedes and nothing follows, is born, lives, and dies in a longer or
shorter time, which, relatively to eternity, hardly equals the duration
of a lightning flash. A nation, on the contrary, is immortal."

From time to time, however, amid these thoughts that bear the impress of
that political fatality which was driving him towards the deed of
bloodshed, the kindly and joyous youth reappears. On the 24th of June he
writes to his mother:--

"I have received your long and beautiful letter, accompanied by the very
complete and well-chosen outfit which you send me. The sight of this
fine linen gave me back one of the joys of my childhood. These are fresh
benefits. My prayers never remain unfulfilled, and I have continual
cause to thank you and God. I receive, all at once, shirts, two pairs of
fine sheets, a present of your work, and of Julia's and Caroline's work,
dainties and sweetmeats, so that I am still jumping with joy and I turned
three times on my heels when I opened the little parcel. Receive the
thanks of my heart, and share, as giver, in the joy of him who has
received.

"Today, however, is a very serious day, the last day of spring and the
anniversary of that on which I lost my noble and good Dittmar. I am a
prey to a thousand different and confused feelings; but I have only two
passions left in me which remain upright and like two pillars of brass
support this whole chaos--the thought of God and the love of my country."

During all this time Sand's life remains apparently calm and equal; the
inward storm is calmed; he rejoices in his application to work and his
cheerful temper. However, from time to time, he makes great complaints
to himself of his propensity to love dainty food, which he does not
always find it possible to conquer. Then, in