She lived in that state of cowardly unrest wherein the
unexpected is dreaded as a possible calamity, wherein a ring at the bell
causes alarm, wherein one turns a letter over and over, weighing the
mystery it contains, not daring to open it, wherein the news you are
about to hear, the mouth that opens to speak to you, cause the
perspiration to start upon your temples. She was in that state of
suspicion, of shuddering fear, of trembling awe in face of destiny,
wherein misfortune sees naught but misfortune, and wherein one would
like to check the current of his life so that it should not go forward
whither all the endeavors and the attacks of others are forcing it.

At last, by virtue of the tears she shed, she arrived at that supreme
disdain, that climax of suffering, where the excess of pain seems a
satire, where chagrin, exceeding the utmost limits of human strength,
exceeds its sensibility as well, and the stricken heart, which no longer
feels the blows, says to the Heaven it defies: "Go on!"

XLVIII

"Where are you going in that rig?" said Germinie one Sunday morning to
Adele, as she passed in grand array along the corridor on the sixth
floor, in front of her open door.

"Ah! there you are! I'm going to a swell wedding, my dear! There's a
crowd of us--big Marie, the _great bully_, you know--Elisa, from 41, the
two Badiniers, big and little--and men, too! In the first place, there's
my _dealer in sudden death_. Yes, and--Oh! didn't you know--my new
flame, the master-at-arms of the 24th--and a friend of his, a painter, a
real Father Joy. We're going to Vincennes. Everyone carries something.
We shall dine on the grass--the men will pay for the wine. And there'll
be plenty of it, I promise you!"

"I'll go, too," said Germinie.

"You? nonsense! you don't go to parties any more."

"But I tell you I'll go," said Germinie, in a sharp, decided tone. "Just
give me time to tell mademoiselle and put on a dress. If you'll wait
I'll go and get half a lobster."

Half an hour later the two women left the house; they skirted the city
wall and found the rest of the party sitting outside a cafe on Boulevard
de la Chopinette. After taking a glass of currant wine, they entered two
large cabs and rode away. When they arrived at the fortress at Vincennes
they alighted and the whole party walked along the bank of the moat. As
they were passing under the wall of the fort, the master-at-arms'
friend, the painter, shouted to a