d, I'm sure no one has asked you how you like our country?

SIR WILFRID. [_Going to_ VIDA _and standing by her at the sofa._] Oh,
well, as to climate and horses, I say nothing. But I like your
American humour. I'm acquiring it for home purposes.

VIDA. [_Getting down to love as the basis of conversation._] Aren't
you going to acquire an American girl for home purposes?

SIR WILFRID. The more narrowly I look the agreeable project in the
face, the more I like it. Oughtn't to say that in the presence of your
husband. [_He casts a look at_ PHILIP, _who has gone into the next
room._

VIDA. [_Cheerful and unconstrained._] He's not my husband!

SIR WILFRID. [_Completely confused._] Oh--eh?--my brain must be
boiled. You are--Mrs.--eh--ah--of course, now I see! I got the wrong
names! I thought you were Mrs. Phillimore. [_Sitting down by her._]
And that nice girl, Mrs. Karslake! You're deucedly lucky to be Mrs.
Karslake. John's a prime sort. I say, have you and he got any kids?
How many?

VIDA. [_Horrified at being suspected of maternity, but speaking very
sweetly._] He's not my husband.

SIR WILFRID. [_His good spirits all gone, but determined to clear
things up._] Phew! Awfully hot in here! Who the deuce is John's wife?

VIDA. He hasn't any.

SIR WILFRID. Who's Phillimore's wife?

VIDA. He hasn't any.

SIR WILFRID. Thanks, fearfully! [_To_ MATTHEW, _whom he approaches;
suspecting himself of having lost his wits._] Would you excuse me, my
dear and Reverend Sir--you're a churchman and all that--would you mind
straightening me out?

MATTHEW. [_Most graciously._] Certainly, Sir Wilfrid. Is it a matter
of doctrine?

SIR WILFRID. Oh, damme--beg your pardon,--no, it's not words, it's
women.

MATTHEW. [_Ready to be outraged._] Women!

SIR WILFRID. It's divorce. Now, the lady on the sofa--

MATTHEW. _Was_ my brother's wife; he divorced
her--incompatibility--Rhode Island. The lady at the tea-table _was_
Mr. Karslake's wife; she divorced him--desertion--Sioux Falls. One
moment--she is about to marry my brother.

SIR WILFRID. [_Cheerful again._] I'm out! Thought I never would be!
Thanks! [VIDA _laughs._

VIDA. [_Not a whit discountenanced and ready to please._] Have you got
me straightened out yet?

SIR WILFRID. Straight as a die! I say, you had lots of fun, didn't
you? [_Returning to his position by the sofa._] And so _she's_ Mrs.
John Karslake?

VIDA. [_Calm, but secretly disappointed._] Do you like her?

SI