kin' a great deal about these docthrines and
jinnyologies that people is now all runnin' upon. I can tell a story,
sir, at a wake, or an my kailee wid a, neighbor, as well as e'er a man
in the five parishes. The people say I'm very long headed all out, and
can see far into a thing. They do, indeed, plaise your reverence."

"Very good."

"Did you ever hear about one Fin M'Cool who was a great buffer in his
day, and how his wife put the trick upon a big bosthoon of a giant that
came down from Munster to bother Fin? Did you ever hear that, sir?"

"No; neither do I wish to hear it just now."

"Nor the song of Beal Derg O'Donnel, sir, nor the 'Fairy River,'
nor 'the Life and Adventures of Larry Dorneen's Ass,' plaise your
reverence."

"No--but I wish you would allow your wife to relate your business here."

"Well, sir, the people say I'm very longheaded, and can see far into a
thing--"

"But, my good man, I care not what the people say--tell your story
briefly."

"--An' can see far into a thing, your reverence, becaise I'm
long-headed. All longheaded people, sir, is cute, an' do you know why
they're cute, sir? No, you don't, but I'll tell you--bekaise they're
long-headed. Now, sir, what 'ud you think to turn Roman Catholic awhile
till I'd malivogue you in arguin' Scripture?--I want to prove to you,
sir, that I'm the boy that understands things."

"What's your business with me?"

"Will you thry it, sir, and you'll see how I'll sober you to your
heart's delight."

"What brought your husband to me, my good woman?"

"_Bhe dha husth; fag a rogarah lumsa_."

"He's comin' to it, plaise your reverence," said the wife.

"Well, sir, so you see, bein' given to deep ways of thinkin' o' my own,
I had many bouts at arguin' Scripthur--as every longheaded man has, of
coorse--an' yestherday meetin' wid Brian Broghan, the mealman--him that
keeps it up on the poor, sir--he challenged me, but, in three skips of
a Scotch Gray, I sacked him cleaner than one of his own meal bags, and
dusted him afterwards:--'so,' says he, misther Grattan, see what it is
to be long-headed."

"It's worse," observed Lucre, "to be long-winded. Come to an end, sir."

"'Long-headed,' says he, 'an', of coorse you'll be takin' the money,'
says Brougham; 'what money?' says I. 'Why, the five guineas,' says he,
'that the Biblemen is givin' to every one that will turn wid them, he
happens to be long-headed--but otherwise, not a penny.' So, sir, myself,
yo