(=popping his head up=)._ Ah, Mr. Jarvis, did I hear you asking
for a shirt-front? Allow me to offer you one--an india-rubber one, Mr.
Jarvis! (=_Jarvis blenches._=) And the price, Mr. Jarvis, is the diamond
in your waistcoat-pocket!

CURTAIN--=except that _Ernest_ gets engaged to _Virginia_ first.=

* * * * *

_Postscript._--On reading this through I feel that it hardly does
justice to the clever acting of Mr. MAUDE as an always delightful old
gentleman, the excellent support given him by the rest of the company,
and the pleasantly exciting melodrama provided for them by Messrs.
HORACE HODGES and T. W. PERCYVAL. To all of them my thanks for an
entertaining evening.

A. A. M.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Pat (having hung up an ostrich's egg on the hen-house
door)._ "There, ye deginerate little spalpeens, look at that and thry
what ye can do!"

* * * * *

From a letter to _The Scotsman_:--

"It goes without saying that when recognising a friend in the
street one raises one's hat by the hand removed from that friend."

Of course. But it is proper to return the hand immediately after the
little ceremony with a few words of thanks.

* * * * *

"For the latter an excuse must be offered in that he was badly hit
on the left hip by the previous ball--a yorker--to that which
bowled him."--_Evening News._

In the over before he had been stunned by a sneak.

* * * * *

_The Yorkshire Daily Observer_ on the income tax:--

"A Bradford widow has been left with five children under 15 years
of age. Her income is L300 a ear."

Or L3,600 in all. We refuse to be moved by her hard case.

* * * * *

"Miscellaneous Volumes. 10s. per cwt. (No theology.)

Theology. 5s. 6d. per cwt."--_Catalogue._

Money being tight, we are ordering 8 stone 7 lbs. of theology for the
drawing-room.

* * * * *

"The Government has introduced another Bill to regulate the sale of
milk and the inspection of dairies. This disgracefully dilutory
Parliament of ours has been playing with similar Bills for five
years."--_Daily Herald._

The dilutory milkman is really more to blame.

* * * * *

MEDIATION.

[SCENE--_A room at Niagara Fall