"If you ever did such a thing again, I'd have a divorce," cried the old
lady sharply. "You go and change your things, sir, and then get a book
till dinner's ready."

The old lady stepped into the parlour, and the old purser was in the act
of winking solemnly at his nephew when Mrs Marion reappeared.

"Ah, I saw!" she cried. "You are encouraging this boy, Abram. Here;
Betsey, bring your flannel and wipe up this mess. And you, go in
directly and change your things."

The old lady disappeared again, and the wrinkles stood all over the old
purser's face as he growled softly between fancy puffs of smoke.

"Woman's words in house, Will, is like cap'en's orders 'board ship, with
the articles over at the back. Must be minded, or it's rank mutiny, and
a disrate. _Puff_. Go and get a dry rig."

"Yes, uncle," said Will quietly.

"And--_puff_--you--_puff_--must be more careful of your clothes--_puff_,
boy. _Puff, puff, puff_. We all sail through life--_puff_--under
orders. _Puff_.--Few of us is cap'ens--_puff_. Very few of us is
admirals--_puff_; and what with admiralty and the gov'ment--_puff,
puff_, and the people's opinion--_puff_, and the queen--_puff_; they
can't do so much as they like, as a regular tar. _Puff, puff_."

The way in which the ex-purser distributed his tobacco smoke during this
oracular lecture to his brother's orphan son was something astounding;
and he had smoked so heavily that it seemed at last as if he were trying
to veil himself from the lad's gaze lest he should see the weakness
exhibited with regard to Mrs Marion's rule; while he kept glancing
uneasily at the lad, as if feeling that he was read by heart.

"All right, uncle, I understand," said Will, turning to go.

"That's right--_puff_, Will. Good lad. Your aunt means well, and if
she pitches into us both--rams us, as you may say, Will, why, we know,
eh?"

"Oh yes, uncle, we know."

"It don't hurt us, lad. She says lots about what you cost for food, and
what an expense you've been to her, and she calls you lazy."

"Yes, uncle," said Will, sadly.

"But what do it amount to, eh? Only tongue, and tongue's only tongue
after all."

"No, uncle."

The last puff of smoke had been sucked out of the pipe, and the old
gentleman kept on gesticulating with it as he spoke.

"Only tongue, lad. Your aunt's one o' the finest and best and truest
women under the sun. See how clean she's always kept you ever since you
first come to u