bangs, that subsided into a sharp rat, with an infinity of
tail, causing the lid of the letter-box to look as if it had the palsy,
and ourself to retreat like a shot--feeling alternately hot and cold;
whilst Strap, who, upon hearing Mrs. Brown's footsteps, began to be very
busy, performing a feat of strength with seven waiters, a copper scuttle
and an ice-pail, is put in such trepidation that he loses his grip--all
coming to the flags; causing the greatest amount of clamour at the
smallest amount of sacrifice--Mrs. Brown saying she is happy it is not
glass, and hoping Strap hasn't been drinking. The effect having
annihilated the cause, the door is not opened; so the dose gets
repeated, with similar gusto, by Fred. Lark--for it was he that gave the
"stunner," and witnessed the commotion through the attenuated windows at
either side the door,--a piece of pleasantry for which he got
stigmatised by Mrs. B. as a naughty, noisome, noisy man; and for which
he himself proposed the _still_-room, as an antidote. Now, Mr. Lark is
one of those funny little men, rather liked, because not over given to
sarcasm, and quite capable of laughing at his own jokes; or rather the
jokes he has picked up and disseminates--such whimsies in their place
being very well, but out of it intolerable nuisances. Mr. Lark commenced
his vagaries in the still-room, when we were taking coffee, placing the
toast on the table, and the buttered bread to the fire; proffering the
sugar to Miss Angelina; inquiring of that lady if she _liked_ her
tea--because, if not, she might _lump_ it; and upon our observing some
cracknels, as hard, the Lark said--it was _harder_ where there were
none; and that evening he completely confounded Mr. Brown, by informing
the worthy gentleman--he had not seen him this year!--nothing very
remarkable, considering it only three days' old; but enough, withal,
to make Mr. Brown think of three hundred and sixty-five--doubting the
statement.

Now arrive the musicians, with a gentle knock:--up goes the harp (like a
huge blade-bone in baize), followed by the cornet, violin, and pianist.
We ascend:--Mrs. Brown popping and firing her parting injunctions in
every direction--at Alphonso, in the (library) coffee-room; at Mr.
Strap, by the door; at John, by the foot of the stairs;--and, I was
going to say, at the listless supernumerary footman, lolling over the
banisters; who appeared in, or rather out of, character, by especial
desire, for this