so often vexed
with them, and with their sad complaints; but as dolefully soever as
they have told their tale, they could never prevail so far as to draw
one penny from me: for either I had no mind to give them anything, or
when I had a mind to do it, I had nothing to give them: and they now
know me so well, that they will not lose their labour, but let me pass
without giving me any trouble, because they hope for nothing, no more in
faith than if I were a priest: but I would have a law made, for sending
all these beggars to monasteries, the men to the Benedictines to be made
lay-brothers, and the women to be nuns.' The Cardinal smiled, and
approved of it in jest; but the rest liked it in earnest. There was a
divine present, who though he was a grave morose man, yet he was so
pleased with this reflection that was made on the priests and the monks,
that he began to play with the fool, and said to him, 'This will not
deliver you from all beggars, except you take care of us friars.'--'That
is done already,' answered the fool, 'for the Cardinal has provided for
you, by what he proposed for restraining vagabonds, and setting them to
work, for I know no vagabonds like you.' This was well entertained by
the whole company, who looking at the Cardinal, perceived that he was
not ill pleased at it; only the friar himself was vexed, as may be
easily imagined, and fell into such a passion, that he could not forbear
railing at the fool, and calling him knave, slanderer, back-biter, and
son of perdition, and then cited some dreadful threatenings out of the
Scriptures against him. Now the jester thought he was in his element,
and laid about him freely. 'Good friar,' said he, 'be not angry, for it
is written, "In patience possess your soul."'--The friar answered (for I
shall give you his own words), 'I am not angry, you hangman; at least I
do not sin in it, for the Psalmist says, "Be ye angry, and sin
not."'--Upon this the Cardinal admonished him gently, and wished him to
govern his passions. 'No, my lord,' said he, 'I speak not but from a
good zeal, which I ought to have; for holy men have had a good zeal, as
it is said, "The zeal of thy house hath eaten me up;" and we sing in our
church, that those who mocked Elisha as he went up to the house of God,
felt the effects of his zeal; which that mocker, that rogue, that
scoundrel, will perhaps feel.'--'You do this perhaps with a good
intention,' said the Cardinal; 'but in my opinion, it were