ries, would
have been sacrificed by his own men within a month at most. His only
title to fame is that he kept the Jews for forty years from
appropriating anything but a desert which nobody else wanted and was a
blistering hindrance to them. The story of Moses certainly has weak
spots. Too much is known of the localities which he frequented. The
crossing of the Red Sea without even getting his boots full of water
seems too lurid an accomplishment for a pedestrian who consumed forty
years in reaching the confines of an ordinary desert. His
disappearance will cause but little clamor. Then there is Jonah. Those
who know the sea, or have a passing acquaintance with fish, place no
reliance upon the Jonah-whale story. Jonah will not be missed greatly.
But I must insist upon the preservation of Noah. In him are we all--no
creed nor color barred--indebted for our first striking and imperfect
impressions of the animal kingdom. No liar could have invented the
story of the flood. It is of too wholesale a character for pure
invention, and the few details which accompany it wear an air of
truth. Unless it were founded upon fact, could manufacturers all over
the world have been induced to strengthen it and put money in their
purse by turning out, annually, not millions but trillions of Noah's
arks? Once shake the belief of childhood in the stability of Noah and
ruin will fall upon a great industry, for machinery which will turn
out a never-ending stream of Noah's arks could not be driven to turn
out anything else. There is nothing to take the place of Noah's ark,
as there is no one to take the place of Noah. In other lines trade may
follow the flag, but in the Noah's ark industry it follows a belief in
Noah and is known to every flag that has ever waved, paying allegiance
to no particular banner. Before these fatiguing divines drive even a
tack into Noah's coffin, let them provide us with a personage of equal
interest and influence. If they are not permitted to move further in
their scheme of destruction until they do this, Noah is safe. They can
only try to kill; they cannot create.

* * * * *

Callow Judgment

Mr. William M. Thomas, United States Minister to Sweden, called upon
the President lately and made him a present of several Swedish razors.
A Washington correspondent at once telegraphed to his newspaper in
New York: "He selected the razors himself and is a fine judge of them
though he doe