she answered, "but loftily, as one at a
distance, shaking me off and regaining possession of yourself. In short,
ceasing to be a man. You led me to see that you would no longer believe
me, because I had once told a lie. Your behavior was grand, noble and
lofty, for any other man would have whipped me out of his house like a
cur; and yet I ought not to have been treated so."

"How? like a daughter of the Vieradlers--though you are probably not
one?"

"You should have abused me, trampled me under foot, even--but then
forgiven me like an erring man. I am earthly--worldly--and I do not
understand grand sentiments and half-forgiveness."

There was some sense in her argument, but arguments would not have any
effect on a character like his, which losing esteem once, was not to be
deceived again. He had not required Hedwig's revelation about the web of
treachery spun around him to be invulnerable to the pleading one. Her
murder of her infant had ruined her irredeemably. Over it he had shed
tears, though it was more in her image than his and, she had offered no
one!

"Are we women more angelic than you men," she exclaimed the more
feverishly, as she felt she was not gaining ground and that over the
crumbling edge of which she vaguely hoped to climb, he would not stretch
a hand in help. "Are faults, errors and failures your privilege, as
force is? Did I really care for any of those men? Do I even recall one
of them? It was only in rage and spite against your coldness that I went
over to the marchioness. I ran to these flirtations to forget, as I
would have taken morphine to sleep. But I have not forgotten you, and I
have not slept off my love for you, and this is the truth!"

He made an impatient gesture.

"In short, nobody could wile away my heart. All those men together would
not equal such a one as you, whom I loved and longed for. I do not wish
to live--I was really ill in Paris, though you will not believe a word
of it, and will not trouble to learn that I speak the truth--so ill that
I sat at death's door and the peeping in terrified me. In that black
cavern there was no love-light, and I crave for love! Then I discovered
that I could not live without you, and that I was right to forgive you
so much, though you will not forgive me heartily a little. See how
abject I am! You are the master, but do not abuse your power. If I have
no soul--inspire me with one--animate the statue of white clay--or
share with me your own.