ompartment,
and which the porter can wheel on a truck, or indeed carry if he
chooses, we are soon in the 'bus, and rattling over the stones to the
Hotel.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "NEB'LAR (HIC) 'POTHESIS."

_Elderly Gentleman_ (_overcome by gravitation_). "'ORRIGHT,
INSPECTRUM. BEEN READING SPEESH--PRES'DENT BRI'SH-SOSHIASHLEM.
SHPLENDID SPEESH! I'M IN 'UNIQUE POSISHN 'F (HIC) ABSOLUTE IMM'BILITY
IN MIDSHT OF WHIRLING 'N DRIFTING SUNS, 'N SYSHTEMS 'F SUNS.' GOOD OLD
HUGGINS!!"]

* * * * *

ODE TO A BAROMETER.

(_BY A TROUBLED TAPSTER._)

I tap you early, tap you late,
In vain!
We get--whatever _you_ may state--
Much rain.
The Woodpecker of which fools sing
Ne'er tapped
Half so persistently. Since Spring
I've rapped
Your fair false dial day by day,
And yet
The end--whatever you may say
Is wet!
'Twas wet in June, and in July
Wet too;
In August it is wetter. Why,
Trust _you_?
Barometer, you false old chap,
You bore!
I'm no Woodpecker, and I'll tap
No more!

* * * * *

"NOTHING IN THE PAPERS!"

_OR, VOLUNTARY CONTRIBUTIONS UN-GRATEFULLY RECEIVED._

SCENE--_A Railway Compartment. BROWN and SMITH _looking up
from their Daily Papers._

_Brown_. Now that Parliament stands prorogued, I suppose there is
nothing to read?

_Smith_. Nothing. Except this article upon Australia. Tells one
all about Capital and Labour in _that_ part of the world. Most
interesting. Wonder how they found room for it! Have you seen it?

_Brown_. Well, no. Fact is I have been reading about Argentina. Very
exhaustive article this, and on a matter of serious moment. I hold
some shares as a trustee. Seems that they will all come right in the
end. Would you like to see it?

_Smith_. When I have time to read it. But, to tell the truth, it takes
me a good hour to get through the City Intelligence. And the racing,
too, that always interests me; but I don't think it is so exciting as
the Stock Exchange.

_Brown_. No more do I. By the way, is there anything good in the
correspondence line in your paper?

_Smith_. The usual sensational recess subjects. Some of the letters
are too good for the general public; they must have been written in
the office.

_Brown_. I daresay. And perhaps these s