f, and bring biscuits. Great big ones! Are
you determined to take me into that big room with all the Portraits?
Well, you must tell me who they all are then, and which are the
Guelphiest ones.

IN THE ROYAL ROOM.

_Considerate Niece_ (_to Uncle_). They seem mostly Portraits here.
You're sure you don't _mind_ looking at them, Uncle? I know so many
people _do_ object to Portraits.

_Uncle_ (_with the air of a Christian Martyr_). No, my dear, no: _I_
don't mind 'em. Stay here as long as you like, I'll sit down and look
at the people, till you've done.

_First Critical Visitor_ (_examining a View of St. James's Park_).
I wonder where that was taken. In Scotland, I expect--there's two
Highlanders there, you see.

_Second C.V._ Shouldn't wonder--lot o' work in that, all those
different colours, and so many dresses. [_Admires, thoughtfully._

_A Well-read Woman_. That's Queen CHARLOTTE, that is. GEORGE THE
THIRD's wife, you know--her that was so _domestic_.

_Her Companion_. Wasn't that the one that was shut up in the Tower, or
something?

_The W.W._ In the Tower? Lor, my dear, no, _I_ never 'eard of it.
You're thinking of the TUDORS, or some o' that lot, I expect!

_Her Comp._ Am I? I daresay. I never _could_ remember 'Istry. Why,
if you'll believe me, I always have to stop and think which of the
GEORGES came first!

_More Critical Visitors_ (_before Portraits_). He's rather
pleasant-looking, don't you think? I _don't_ like _her_ face at all.
So peculiar. And what a hideous dress--like a tea-gown without any
upper part--frightful!

_A Sceptical V._ They all seem to have had such thin lips in those
days. Somehow, I _can't_ bring myself to believe in such very thin
lips--can _you_, dear?

_Her Friend_. I always think it's a sign of meanness, myself.

_The S.V._ No; but I mean--I can't believe _everyone_ had them in the
eighteenth century.

_Her Friend_. Oh, I don't know. If it was the fashion!

ABOUT THE CASES.

_Visitor_ (_admiring an embroidered waistcoat of the time of GEORGE
THE SECOND--a highly popular exhibit_). What lovely work! Why, it
looks as if it was done yesterday!

_Her Companion_ (_who is not in the habit of allowing his enthusiasm
to run away with him_). Um--yes, it's not bad. But, of course, they
wouldn't send a thing like that here without having it washed and done
up first!

_An Old Lady_. "Tea-pot used by the Duke of WELLINGTON during his
campaigns." So he drank _tea_, did he? Dear