h your reporter circulated the following:

_Reply_.

It is my express desire that no public mention shall be made of the part
by which the _Dauntless_ was permitted apparently to win the race. It is
the duty of him who might have been victor to display a magnanimous
spirit to those who in that case would have been the vanquished. I must,
however, regret that circumstances of a peculiar nature prevent my
availing myself of Mr. BENNETT's kind offer. Though this will not stand
in the way of my accepting with pleasure--nay, even with alacrity--the $250
silver cup appointed for the winner of to-day's race, as the just meed
of one who, though of a naturally retiring disposition, is forced on the
present occasion to acknowledge himself _facile princeps_.

(Signed) Sporting Spec, _vice_ PUNCHINELLO.

After waiting for Mr. BENNETT'S gig, or water-buggy, to row up and award
the prize, your special nodded majestically to the Oar-acular, who
thereupon steamed slowly up the bay again, arriving at the Battery in
the rosy dawn.

* * * * *

PRUSSIA'S POSITION PHILOSOPHICALLY PUT.

German metaphysicians have settled so completely to the satisfaction of
their countrymen that "being" and "not being" are identical, that this
may serve to explain how, while holding possession of her share in the
partition of Poland, Prussia professes to be virtuously indignant at
France for retaining Alsace and Lorraine.

* * * * *

OUT OF THE PAN INTO THE FIRE.

What with BISMARCK'S pangerrmanism, the CZAR'S panslavism, NAPOLEON'S
panlatinism, the spread of pantheism, the threatened metamorphosis
of pantalettes into pantaloons, ANDREWS' pantarchy, and
Fox's pantomime, the old regime seems going precipitately to pot.

* * * * *

A JUDICIOUS JEW.

Such was the one who wished to contract for the sweepings of Steinway
Hall when he heard that NILSSON showered throughout the room
her precious tones.

* * * * *

EXIT "SUN."

The newsboys in the streets no longer cry _The Sun_, with stentorian
voices, but in gentle whispers, fearing to disturb the repose of that
waning luminary.

* * * * *

TAPPING THE TILL.

Is there any connection between the quite common offence in New
York of "tapping the till," and the nomination of a Mr. TAPPAN for
Comptroller by the JOHN REAL Democracy?