* *

MR. PUNCHINELLO'S POLITICAL MANUAL.

I. QUALIFICATIONS OF A VOTER.

Now and then Mr. PUNCHINELLO has noticed (with infinite scorn and
contempt) all the stuff and nonsense published in the newspapers about
registry and inspection, about citizenship and twenty-one years of age,
and other games and devices of that soft sort. The qualifications of a
voter may be stated with severe and scientific accuracy, as follows:--

_Ubiquity._--By this is to be understood the power, not of _being_, but
of _belonging_ in from six to twelve Wards at the same time. Analogous
to this is the capacity of being at once a subject of VICTORIA REGINA
and a loyal citizen of the United States--a talent most exquisitely
developed in the Hibernian nature.

_Receptivity_.--This may be divided into two classes, as follows:--

1. The material power, which is that of receiving from any candidate any
sum of money which, the said ass of a candidate may be willing to pay
for a vote.

2. The spiritual power, which is that of imbibing, at the expense of the
aforesaid candidate, any number of fluid pounds of anything good to
take, whether the same may be punches, cock-tails, smashes, slings, or
plain drinks.

_Pugnacity_.--This is a quality by no means to be lightly spoken of,
especially in a District represented by that eminent warrior, the Hon.
Mr. MORRISSEY. Our fathers fought, bled, and died for liberty, and the
least an independent citizen can do is to be willing to fight and bleed
(and even he "kilt") in the same behalf. There is a difference, however,
between dying and being "kilt," which we need not point out to those
noble champions of liberty who are also of the Celtic persuasion.

II. QUALIFICATIONS OF AN EDITOR.

_Mendacity_.--This is a talent mainly developed in the manipulation of
election returns. But it may be exhibited in various other ways. Here,
for instance, is an obnoxious candidate who is a quiet, respectable,
honest, church-going family man. The height of mendacious talent is
shown in representing this paragon of virtue to be a brawler, a
blackguard, a swindler, an infidel, and a bad husband and father. If he
mildly denies that he is any such person, the proper course is to call
him all the unpleasant names over again, adding, by way of clincher,
that he is popularly supposed to have murdered his grandmother. This
will floor him.

_Verbosity_.--This is the power of writing two columns in answer to a
three-line