nd myself in need of thoughtful
consideration before I could make up my mind. Therese's letter had
entirely upset all my ideas, and, feeling that I could not answer it a
once, I told the messenger to call the next day.

Two motives of equal weight kept the balance wavering; self-love and love
for Therese. I felt that I ought not to require Therese to give up such
prospects of fortune; but I could not take upon myself either to let her
go to Naples without me, or to accompany her there. On one side, I
shuddered at the idea that my love might ruin Therese's prospects; on the
other side, the idea of the blow inflicted on my self-love, on my pride,
if I went to Naples with her, sickened me.

How could I make up my mind to reappear in that city, in the guise of a
cowardly fellow living at the expense of his mistress or his wife? What
would my cousin Antonio, Don Polo and his dear son, Don Lelio Caraffa,
and all the patricians who knew me, have said? The thought of Lucrezia
and of her husband sent a cold shiver through me. I considered that, in
spite of my love for Therese, I should become very miserable if everyone
despised me. Linked to her destiny as a lover or as a husband, I would be
a degraded, humbled, and mean sycophant. Then came the thought, Is this
to be the end of all my hopes? The die was cast, my head had conquered my
heart. I fancied that I had hit upon an excellent expedient, which at all
events made me gain time, and I resolved to act upon it. I wrote to
Therese, advising her to accept the engagement for Naples, where she
might expect me to join her in the month of July, or after my return from
Constantinople. I cautioned her to engage an honest-looking
waiting-woman, so as to appear respectably in the world, and, to lead
such a life as would permit me to make her my wife, on my return, without
being ashamed of myself. I foresaw that her success would be insured by
her beauty even more than by her talent, and, with my nature, I knew that
I could never assume the character of an easy-going lover or of a
compliant husband.

Had I received Therese's letter one week sooner, it is certain that she
would not have gone to Naples, for my love would then have proved
stronger than my reason; but in matters of love, as well as in all
others, Time is a great teacher.

I told Therese to direct her answer to Bologna, and, three days after, I
received from her a letter loving, and at the same time sad, in which she
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