ill aches from it.

AMPH. You have been thrashed?

SOS. Truly.

AMPH. And by whom?

SOS. Myself.

AMPH. You have thrashed yourself?

SOS. Yes, I; not the I who is here, but the I from the house, who whacks
soundly.

AMPH. Heaven confound you for talking to me like this!

SOS. I am not joking; the I whom I have just met has great advantages
over the I who speaks to you. He has a strong arm and great courage; I
have had proofs of both; this devil of an I has licked me soundly; he is
a fellow who can do wonders.

AMPH. Let us, cease this. Have you seen my wife?

SOS. No.

AMPH. Why not?

SOS. For a sufficiently strong reason.

AMPH. Who hindered you, scoundrel? Explain yourself.

SOS. Must I repeat the same thing twenty times? I, I tell you, this I
who is more robust than I, this I who took possession of the door by
force, this I who made me slope off, this I who wishes to be the only I,
this I who is jealous of myself, this valiant I, whose anger made itself
known to this poltroon of an I, in fact, this I who is at our house,
this I who has shown himself to be my master, this I who has racked me
with pain.

AMPH. His brain must be addled by having had too much to drink this
morning.

SOS. May I be hanged if I have had anything to drink but water: I take
my oath on it.

AMPH. Then your senses must have been fast asleep: some silly dream has
shown you all these fairy tales and confused mysteries which you wish me
to take for truths.

SOS. That is just as far away from the truth. I have not slept, and I do
not even feel inclined that way. I am speaking to you wide-awake; I
was wide awake this morning, upon my life! And the other Sosie was also
wide-awake, when he drubbed me so well.

AMPH. Follow me; I order you to be silent. You tire my brain too much;
I must be an out-and-out fool to have the patience to listen to the
nonsense a valet has to say.

SOS. All talk is nonsense that comes from a man who is unknown. If a
great man were to say it, it would be exquisite language.

AMPH. Let us go in without waiting any longer. But here comes Alcmene
clothed in all her charms. Doubtless she does not expect me so soon, and
my arrival will surprise her.

SCENE II

ALCMENE, CLEANTHIS, AMPHITRYON, SOSIE

ALC. Come, Cleanthis, let us attend the Gods, pay them our homage for
my husband's sake, and thank them for the glorious success, of which
Thebes, by his arm, reaps the advantage. O ye Gods!

AM