fe impossible. They
were tried before me for selfishness, or for an impossible vanity, or
for scandalmongering, or for stinginess to guests or dependents. Of
course these courts had no sort of real coercive powers. The fulfilment
of their punishments rested entirely on the honour of the ladies and
gentlemen involved, including the honour of the culprits. But you would
be amazed to know how completely our orders were always obeyed. Only
lately I had a most pleasing example. A maiden lady in South Kensington
whom I had condemned to solitary confinement for being the means of
breaking off an engagement through backbiting, absolutely refused
to leave her prison, although some well-meaning persons had been
inopportune enough to rescue her."

Rupert Grant was staring at his brother, his mouth fallen agape. So, for
the matter of that, I expect, was I. This, then, was the explanation of
the old lady's strange discontent and her still stranger content with
her lot. She was one of the culprits of his Voluntary Criminal Court.
She was one of the clients of his Queer Trade.

We were still dazed when we drank, amid a crash of glasses, the health
of Basil's new judiciary. We had only a confused sense of everything
having been put right, the sense men will have when they come into the
presence of God. We dimly heard Basil say:

"Mr P. G. Northover will now explain the Adventure and Romance Agency."

And we heard equally dimly Northover beginning the statement he had made
long ago to Major Brown. Thus our epic ended where it had begun, like a
true cycle.

End of Project Gutenberg's The Club of Queer Trades, by G. K. Chesterton

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