Reflections on a Mythic Beast
That's quite Remarkable, at least.

8. MY HOUSE, and how I make MY BED;
A Nocturne for a Sleepy-Head.

9. On DIGITAL EXTREMITIES;
A Poem (and a gem it is!)

10. THE GOOP; constructed on a Plan
Beyond the Intellect of Man.

11. PARISIAN NECTAR for the Gods;
A little thick--but what's the odds?

12. THE FLYING HOUSE; a Narrative
Of Sanity comparative,
And nothing much declarative.
(_Permission of S. F. Examiner._)

13. The Story of the GIANT HORSE;
'T is quite improbable, of course.

14. _WHAT_ SMITH _TRIED TO_ BELIEVE; a Study
That will appeal to anybuddy.

15. The TOWEL AND THE DOOR,--ah well!
I'll not attempt the Tale to tell.

16. The TOWEL AND THE DOOR again!
The Story's told--is it in vain?

17. The FOOTLESS FEAT of Mrs. Box
_Posteaque, fiat Nox!_

18. And now, allow the PURPLE COW
To make her Bow.

TO THE
READERS OF "_THE LARK_"
WHO HAVE LAUGHED
THEY KNEW NOT WHY,
THESE INARTISTIC ABERRATIONS
ARE GRATEFULLY DEDICATED.
GELETT BURGESS

_THE PECULIAR HISTORY OF THE CHEWING-GUM MAN._

O Willie, an' Wallie, an' Huldy Ann,
They went an' built a big CHEWIN'-GUM MAN:
It was none o' your teenty little dots,
With pinhole eyes an' pencil-spots;
But this was a terribul big one--well,
'T was a'most as high as the Palace Hotel!
_It took 'em a year to chew the gum!!_
And Willie he done it all, 'cept some
That Huldy got her ma to chew,
By the time the head was ready to do.

* * * * *

Well, Willie he chewed it for days 'n' days;
They brung it to him in gret big drays;
An' fast as he got it good an' soft,
Then Wallie he come and carried it oft.
Then he'd roll it into a gret big ball,
_An' he made a-more'n a MILLION in all!_
Then Huldy Ann she spanked 'em flat
An' pinched an' poked, an' the like o' that,
Till she got it inter a gret big hunk--
My! didn't Huldy have the spunk!
And then she sliced one end half-way
To make the laigs ('cause they never stay
When you stick 'em on in a seprit piece--
Seems like the ends was made o' grease);
And she slit an arm right up each side,--
I couldn't a done it if I'd a tried!
O' course, her brothers they helped her, though,
An' rolled the arms an' laigs o