* * *

Miss Thomas, a relative newcomer to our bailiwick, seemed baffled by the
warmth of our greeting. She entered the office with our visitor, and as
Joyce and I pumphandled him enthusiastically she asked, "You--you _know_
this gentleman, Mr. Mallory?"

"I should say we do!" I chortled. "Pat, you old naughty word! Where on
earth have you been hiding lately?"

"Surely you've heard of the great Patrick Pending, Miss Thomas?" asked
Joyce.

"Pending?" faltered Miss Thomas. "I seem to have heard the name. Or seen
it somewhere--"

Pat beamed upon her companionably. Stepping to my desk, he up-ended the
typewriter and pointed to a legend in tiny letters stamped into the
frame: _Reg. U.S. Pat. Off.--Pat. Pending._

"Here, perhaps?" he suggested. "I invented this. And the airplane, and
the automobile, and--oh, ever so many things. You'll find my name
inscribed on every one.

"I," he announced modestly, "am Pat Pending--the greatest inventulator
of all time."

Miss Thomas stared at me goggle-eyed.

"_Is_ he?" she demanded. "I mean--_did_ he?"

I nodded solemnly.

"Not only those, but a host of other marvels. The bacular clock, the
transmatter, the predictograph--"

Miss Thomas turned on Pat a gaze of fawning admiration. "How wonderful!"
she breathed.

"Oh, nothing, really," said Pat, wriggling.

"But it is! Most of the things brought here are so absurd. Automatic
hat-tippers, self-defrosting galoshes, punching bags that defend
themselves--" Disdainfully she indicated the display collection of
screwball items we call our Chamber of Horrors. "It's simply marvelous
to meet a man who has invented things really worth while."

Honestly, the look in her eyes was sickening. But was Pat nauseated? Not
he! The big goon was lapping it up like a famished feline. His simpering
smirk stretched from ear to there as he murmured, "Now, Miss Thomas--"

"Sandra, Mr. Pending," she sighed softly. "To you just plain ... Sandy.
Please?"

"Well, Sandy--" Pat gulped.

I said disgustedly, "Look, you two--break it up! Love at first sight is
wonderful in books, but in a Federal office I'm pretty sure it's
unconstitutional, and it _may_ be subversive. Would you mind coming down
to earth? Pat, you barged in here squalling about some new invention. Is
that correct?"

With an effort Pat wrenched his gaze from his new-found admirer and
nodded soberly.

"That's right, Mr. Mallory. And a great one, too. One that will
re