ND

O beware of my lord of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on: that cuckold lives on bliss
Who, certain of his fate, love not its wronger.
But O, what damned minutes tells he o'er
Who dotes yet doubts; suspects yet fondly loves.
--_Othello._

Alone in my room that night I began to think again. I had hurried back
from the cave with fearful speed, never daring to stop or think. Now I
could do both, and for hours I tried to solve the problem before me.
What was the meaning of this night's adventure? Had these women the
power to rid me of a terrible calamity, or were they seeking simply the
protection I should be able to afford in the future years? They were
all in bad repute, and ofttimes the anger of the people was aroused
against them, thus if they could gain my friendship they would be
comparatively safe. Did they seek to frighten me into a promise, or
was there some dread meaning in their words?

These questions drove me to pray, or rather, to say my prayers. I did
not, could not, really pray. To me there was no real God. All was as
misty and unreal as the mythical stories I had read about the fabled
Greek gods. For hours I sought light, and help, and strength; but none
came, and when daylight came I was still in doubt.

The next day I passed by old Deborah's cottage. I thought she might
have something to say to me, but when she saw me she, bent her head and
would not answer to my "good-day." Try as I would I could not help
feeling that she had ill-will against me, and would lose no opportunity
to do me an injury. Once I thought of speaking to my father about it;
but I dared not tell him that I had been to Fraddam's cave at midnight;
that act was in itself enough to bring darkness to my future, if there
were any truth in the stories which floated in the very atmosphere of
my life.

Days lengthened into weeks, and weeks into months, and nothing
happened. Old Mally Udy passed and re-passed me, but she gave no sign
of our midnight encounter. She dropped her usual curtsey of respect
when she saw me. Thus it was that the awe of the night in Fraddam's
cave died out. I gave up seriously thinking about it, and as the
affairs of the Trewinion estate began to rest on me my mind was fully
occupied.

During the months that followed, I believe I was moody and taciturn.
At any rate, my sisters did not find so much pleasure in being with me
as