ispered words to bride and groom at the
ceremony is necessary. A formal antenuptial enlightenment, frank and
expert, is needed by our civilization.

The sex appetite varies as widely as any other human character.
Generally speaking, it is believed that sexual passion in women is more
episodic than in men, often relating to the menstrual period. In many
cases it does not develop as a conscious factor in the woman's life
until after marriage, and sometimes not until the first child is born.
Certainly desire in the girl is a more generalized, less local, less
conscious excitement than it is in the boy who cannot misunderstand his
feelings. I think it may safely be said that allowing for the freedom of
boys and men, there is native to the male a more urgent passion than to
the female. This would be biologically necessary, since upon him
devolves not only courtship but the fundamental activity in the sexual
act. A passionless woman may have sexual relation, a passionless man
cannot.

The disparity in sex desire between a husband and wife may be slight or
great. No statistics on the subject will ever be gathered, from the very
nature of the facts, but it is safe to say that much more disparity
exists than is suspected. And likewise it causes more trouble than is
suspected. Where the virility of the mate is inadequate there breeds a
subtle dissatisfaction that may corrode domestic happiness and bring
about conflict on subjects quite remote from the real issue.
Contrariwise, to have relations forced or coaxed on one where desire is
lacking brings about disgust, nervous reactions, fatigue of marked
nature.

A woman sexually well mated often clings beyond reason to an unworthy
mate. Many an inexplicable marriage, many a fantastic loyalty of a good
woman to a bad man has its origin where it is least expected, in the sex
attachment. Demureness of appearance, refinement of manner, noble
ideals are not at all inconsistent with powerful sex feeling. There is
no reason why strong, well-controlled passion should be considered
anything but a virtue, why the pleasure of the sexual field should,
under the social restriction, be regarded as impure.

Too often the latter is the case. Fantastic puritanical ideas often
govern both men and women. I have in mind several couples who desired to
live continent until such time as children were desired. The biological
reasons for the sexual relations seemed to them the only "pure" reasons.
Needl