agreeable phases of the housewife's work do not cause her
neurosis; it is the disagreeable in her life that do. Or rather it is
what any individual housewife finds disagreeable that is of importance,
and it is my task to show what these things are, how they work, and
finally what to do about it.

CHAPTER V

REACTION TO THE DISAGREEABLE

A few preliminary words about the disagreeable in the housewife's lot
will be of value.

We may divide the things, situations, and happenings of life into three
groups,--the agreeable, the indifferent, and the disagreeable. No two
men will agree in detail in judging what is agreeable, indifferent, or
disagreeable. There are as many different points of view as there are
people, and in the end what is one man's meat may literally be another
man's poison. There are, however, only a few ways of reacting to what
one considers the disagreeable. The agreeable things of life do not
cause a neurosis, though they may injure character or impair efficiency.
And we may neglect the theoretical indifferent.

1. A disagreeable thing may be so disastrous in our viewpoint as to
cause fear. This fear may be expressed as flight, which is a normal
reaction, or it may be expressed by a sort of paralysis of function, as
the fainting spell, or the great weakness which makes flight impossible.
Fear is a much abused emotion. People speak glibly about taking it out
of life, on the ground that it is wholly harmful. "Children must not
experience fear; it is wrong, it is immoral; they should grow up in
sunshine and gladness, without fear." A whole sect, many minor
religions, take this Pollyanna attitude toward reality.

As a matter of fact fear is _a_ (I almost said _the_) great motive force
of human life. Fear of the elements was the incentive to shelter; fear
of starvation started agriculture and the storage of food; fear of
disease and death gives medicine its standing; fear of the unknown is
the backbone of conservatism, and fear of the rainy day is the source of
thrift. Fear of death is not only the basis of religion, but of life
insurance as well. Fear of the finger of scorn and the blame of our
fellows is the great force in morality. And no amount of attempted unity
with God will ever take the place of the injunction to fear Him!

2. While fear then is back of the constructive forces of life it works
hand in hand with another emotion that is also greatly disparaged by
sentimentalists,--anger. T