t possessed qualities lacking in
himself. By nature he was a queer mixture of rashness and timidity, but
through his mother's anxiety on his behalf the latter quality was
constantly being nursed at the expense of all tendency to action. And
so, in order to keep the balance, he revelled in the imaginary or real
deeds of men whose very life-breath was danger. The more the books gave
him of what he craved, the less he thought of looking for it in life.

Consequently his new passion seemed a godsend to his mother, who
encouraged him in every possible way. It brought a solution of many
difficulties and worries by keeping him at home and quiet. The only
resistance came, as usual, from the father, who repeatedly counselled
moderation and often made the boy drop his book and turn to something
else--which seemed to Keith the worst of all the tyrannies to which he
found himself exposed. But most of the time the father was powerless
because of his absence from home, and soon Keith learned that his
reading formed the only exception to his mother's general refusal to
permit any circumvention of his father's explicit command.

It also became plain to Keith that the mother favoured his love for the
books not only as a means of relief to herself. Evidently she held it
admirable in itself and a promise bearing in some mysterious manner on
his future. His mother's approval flattered him, but otherwise her
attitude was a riddle which he did not care to solve as long as it
brought him permission to explore at will this newly discovered world of
perfectly safe enjoyment. In the end, however, that strange reverence
shown by his mother combined with his own increasing ability to live the
cherished life of his dreams at second hand into an influence that more
or less warped his entire outlook on life. It robbed to some extent of
his sense of proportion.

XV

His father noticed his timidity and seemed to view it with a sense of
humiliation. Once, in the presence of company, he threatened to put him
into skirts "like any other girl." Keith had played too little with
other children to have acquired the usual male consciousness of
superiority, but his father's words cut him to the quick nevertheless,
because he knew them to be meant for an insult. He resolved then and
there to show his mettle in some striking way, and promptly be began to
dream of such ways, but chance being utterly lacking for even a normal
display of boyish daring, it me