rspective Drawing, the Piano, the Organ, and the Harmonium, and
Singing, for the modest salary of L20 a-year without a residence! But
it is only just to add; that this person seems to be of marvellous
origin, for although he admits extreme youth (he says he is _only
three years of age!_) he boasts ten years of experience! _O si sic
omnes_! So wise, so young, so cheap!

* * * * *

If spectacular effects are worth remembering, then Sheriff DRURIOLANUS
ought to be a member of the Spectacle-makers' Company.

* * * * *

ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND.

(_ON THE NINTH OF NOVEMBER._)

["Our difficulties are such as these--that America has
instituted a vast system of prohibitive tariffs, mainly,
I believe, because ... American pigs do not receive proper
treatment at the hands of Europe.... If we have any difficulty
with our good neighbours in France, it is because of
that unintelligent animal the lobster; and if we have any
difficulty with our good neighbours in America, it is because
of that not very much nobler animal, the seal."--_Lord
Salisbury at the Mansion House_.]

The Real Turtle sang this, very slowly, and sadly:--

"We are getting quite important," said the Porker to the Seal,
"For we're 'European Questions,' as a Premier seems to feel.
See the 'unintelligent' Lobster, even he, makes an advance!
Oh, we lead the Politicians of the earth a pretty dance.
Will you, won't you, Yankee Doodle, England, and gay France.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, let _us_ lead the dance?

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be,
When they take _us_ up as matters of the High Diplomacee."
But the Seal replied, "They brain us!" and he gave a look askance
At the goggle-eyed mailed Lobster, who was loved (and boiled) by France.
"Would they, could they, would they, could they, give us half a chance?
Lobsters, Pigs, and Seals all suffer, Commerce to advance!"

"What matters it how grand we are!" his plated friend replied,
If our destiny is Salad, or the Sausage boiled or fried?
Though we breed strife 'twixt England, and America, and France,
If we're chopped up, or boiled, or brained where is _our_ great advance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you chuck away a chance
Of peace in pig-stye, or at sea, to play the game of France?"

"Thank you, it's a very amusing dance