o hold her down, the crowd yelled, and our
zebras run into the cage ahead, containing the behemoth of Holy Writ,
and knocked off a hind wheel, and every wagon ahead was either tipped
over or disabled. The people fairly went wild, thinking the runaway was
a part of the show. The giant fainted from fright, 'cause he always was
a coward; the bearded woman threw her arms around a reporter, and
scratched his face with her whiskers, while the Circassian girl got her
white wig caught In the branch of a tree and lost it, and she was as
bald as an ostrich egg. Pa took out the whip and larruped the zebras, to
put some new stripes on them.

[Illustration: There Never Was Such a Runaway Since the Days of
Ben-Hur.]

When we passed the camels they thought they were in the race, and they
buckled in to keep up, and the chariot horses got the best of the
drivers and they joined in. My mule kept up all right, and we went down
the hill on to the level ground that runs to the Missouri river. When we
got to the river the zebras turned short and tipped the tally-ho over
into the water and the whole bunch on the coach was floundering in the
muddy water; but there happened to be a sandbar under the water, so
nobody was drowned, though we had to bail out the fat woman, she
swallowed so much of the muddy river. The giant was senseless and two
reporters got astride of him, thinking it was a rail, and drifted
ashore, while pa laid on his back and floated like a duck, and when we
got him out we found he had a life-preserver under his coat, and he said
he put it on because he had a hunch that those zebras would make for
running water if they ever got beyond control. Well, the crowd followed
down to the river, and everybody was rescued, and the rest of the parade
went over the route, and in the afternoon the tent was so full there
were thousands standing up.

[Illustration: The Zebras Turned Short and Tipped the Tally-ho Over Into
the Water.]

When pa came into the main tent with the zebras, in the grand parade
around the ring, the crowd gave him three cheers, which probably caused
the management to refrain from discharging him on the spot. Pa is like a
cat, 'cause he always falls on his feet all right and he thinks the
zebra tally-ho in the parade was the feature that caused the crowd to
visit the show; but he says he will never drive zebras again, on account
of the excitement.

The fat woman talks of having pa arrested for breaking one of her