hitherto been conducted, similar events to those which had
occurred could never again take place; and therefore it was absolutely
useless to know anything about the past. With regard to literary
fiction, he explained that, as it was absolutely necessary, from his
nature, that man should experience a certain quantity of excitement, the
false interest which these productions created prevented their readers
from obtaining this excitement by methods which, by the discovery of the
useful, might greatly benefit society.

'You are of opinion, then,' exclaimed the delighted Popanilla, 'that
nothing is good which is not useful?'

'Is it possible that an individual exists in this world who doubts this
great first principle?' said the little man, with great animation.

'Ah, my dear friend!' said Popanilla, 'if you only knew what an avowal
of this great first principle has cost me; what I have suffered; what I
have lost!'

'What have you lost?' asked the little gentleman.

'In the first place, a lock of hair--'

'Poh, nonsense!'

'Ah! you may say Poh! but it was a particular lock of hair.'

'My friend, that word is odious. Nothing is particular, everything is
general. Rules are general, feelings are general, and property should be
general; and, sir, I tell you what, in a very short time it must be
so. Why should Lady Spirituelle, for instance, receive me at her house,
rather than I receive her at mine?'

'Why don't you, then?' asked the simple Popanilla.

'Because I have not got one, sir!' roared the little gentleman.

He would certainly have broken away had not Popanilla begged him to
answer one question. The Captain, reiterating in the most solemn manner
his firm belief in the dogma that nothing was good which was not useful,
and again detailing the persecutions which this conviction had brought
upon him, was delighted that an opportunity was now afforded to gain
from the lips of a distinguished philosopher a definition of what
utility really was. The distinguished philosopher could not refuse so
trifling a favour.

'Utility,' said he, 'is--'

At this critical moment there was a universal buzz throughout the rooms,
and everybody looked so interested that the philosopher quite forgot
to finish his answer. On inquiring the cause of this great sensation,
Popanilla was informed that a rumour was about that a new element
had been discovered that afternoon. The party speedily broke up, the
principal philosophers immedi