d conventional
stupidity. In fact, you seem very much like Cruickshank that you always
were. How do you explain that?"

"The explanation is very simple," said Cruickshank, the bookkeeper, "and
also very important; and you would do well not to forget it or tamper
with it. I am Cruickshank the bookkeeper, just as I always have been,
because you can not change human nature. And what is more, I tell you
that if you divided all the wealth up equally it would be unequal again
before sunset."

"Mere popular fallacies," said Gud. "And now I am going to show you who
I really am. When my Underdog here barks at the moon you are going to
change into a boiled lobster with one great claw--a very red lobster, on
which your insufferable white collar will look quite ridiculous."

"But," cried Cruickshank, "you can not change human nature!"

"Yes, yes, I know," said Gud. "That is why I am doing it. Now bark,"
commanded Gud, addressing the Underdog, whose name was Fidu.

"But," said Fidu, "I do not see any moon to bark at."

"Imagine one, stupid," said Gud.

So Fidu imagined a moon to bark at, and barked at the moon he imagined;
and then he and Gud went on their way, leaving a great, red, boiled
lobster, wearing a white collar and crawling backward with one claw,
along the Impossible Curve.

Chapter X

Now Cruickshank was a loyal worker
Who frowned upon the average shirker,
And in the place where Cruickshank toiled
The wheels of work were shrewdly oiled,
And profits had a way of rising
Which showed the firm as enterprising.
Through years that numbered thirty-one
Cruickshank hated the owner's son--
"Stool pigeon" was the name the boy
Had given him with whoops of joy.
In Cruickshank's breast ambition burned
And so he lived and worked and earned,
Robbed Paul and Peter, had no gout
And made his family go without.
Sly Cruickshank in his stealthy way
Bought shares in the firm for a rainy day,
Existing on a miser's dole
For the hour when he would have control,
Wander in and announce the doom
Of the President's son in the President's room....
So Cruickshank labored and did not shirk
Though his poor wife died from overwork.
But finally came the day of days....
Sly Cruickshank asked for a lordly raise.
When father and son had answered "No"
Expecting old Cruickshank to go
He shrieked the triumph of his soul:
"