,
I was rather upset before you came in by a miserable man who called to
see me, and at the moment I was, _a propos_ of him, thinking of a funny
story about Theodore Hook I came across last night I never heard before.
Poor Hook was at a smart dinner one evening, but instead of being as
usual the life and soul of the party, he proved the wet blanket on the
merry meeting, despite the fact that he, in all probability, had imbibed
his stiff glass of brandy to get him up to his usual form before
entering the house at which he was entertained. This most unusual phase
of Hook's character surprised everybody present, so much so that his
host ventured to remark that the volatile Theodore did not seem so merry
as usual.

"'Merry? I should think not! I should like to see anyone merry who has
gone through what I have this afternoon!'

"'What was that?' asked everyone, with one voice.

"'Well, I'll tell you,' said Hook. 'I have just come up from York in the
stage coach, and I was rather late in taking my seat; the top was
occupied to the full, so I had no alternative but to become an inside
passenger. The only other occupant of the interior was a melancholy
individual rolled up in a corner. He had donned his great-coat, the
collar of which was turned right up over his ears. He stolidly sat
there, never uttering a word, until I became fascinated by his weird
appearance. By-and-by the sun sank below the western horizon, the inside
of the coach became darker and darker, and more ghastly seemed the
cadaverous stranger as the blackness increased. The strain was too much
for me. I could not keep silent another minute.

"'My good sir,' I said, 'whatever is the matter with you?'"

"'I'll tell you,' he slowly muttered. 'Some months ago I invested in two
tickets in a great lottery, but when I told my wife of the speculation I
had indulged in she nagged and nagged at me to such a frightful extent
that at last I sold the tickets.'

"'Well?'

"'Well, do you know, sir, to-day those two numbers won the two first
prizes, and those two prizes represent a sum of money of colossal
magnitude!'

"'Goodness gracious me!' I shouted. 'If that had happened to me it would
have driven me to desperation! In fact I really believe that I should
have been frantic enough to cut my throat!'

"'Why, that's just what I have done!' replied the stranger, as he turned
down his collar. 'Look here!'"

[Illustration: "THAT'S JUST WHAT I HAVE DONE!"]

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