* *

"To my mind," observed the Chairman of the Bench of Magistrates
cheerfully, "the _only_ difficulty that presents itself in this
otherwise very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently
hot for the incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see
cowering in the dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty,
on the clearest evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car;
secondly, of driving to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross
impertinence to the rural police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please,
what is the very stiffest penalty we can impose for each of these
offences? Without, of course, giving the prisoner the benefit of any
doubt, because there isn't any."

The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. "Some people would
consider," he observed, "that stealing the motor-car was the worst
offence; and so it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the
severest penalty; and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve
months for the theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious
driving, which is lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was
pretty bad sort of cheek, judging by what we've heard from the
witness-box, even if you only believe one-tenth part of what you
heard, and I never believe more myself--those figures, if added
together correctly, tot up to nineteen years--"

"First-rate!" said the Chairman.

"--So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe
side," concluded the Clerk.

"An excellent suggestion!" said the Chairman approvingly. "Prisoner!
Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It's going to be
twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us
again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very
seriously!"

Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded
him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking,
praying, protesting; across the market-place, where the playful
populace, always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic
and helpful when one is merely "wanted," assailed him with jeers,
carrots, and popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their
innocent faces lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the
sight of a gentleman in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding
drawbridge, below the spiky portcullis, under the frowning archway of
the grim old castle, whose ancient towers soared high overhe