of jays! They instructed me when I came to take
ads on the basis of a million circulation _at least_, and to
charge _ten dollars a line_ for space. How's that? I'm doing
it, of course!

Yours,
JOE.

About the time, possibly, that Mr. Bates was preparing this letter, the
proprietors of the "Whole Family" were gathered about a table under the
studio skylight in earnest discussion. In the center of the table lay a
large and loud-voiced watch, a small, inoffensive-looking camera, a
savage-looking gun, and a rather showy Bible. After much argument they
had finally agreed upon these articles as their premiums, as well as
upon the necessity of following up their "cash for names" announcement
with premium offers both in their own and other periodicals. They were
gathered now to prepare the copy for this advertising. Perner was
performing the mechanical labor, while the others assisted him with
appropriate adjectives and sentences.

"I don't think 'excellent' is a strong enough word for the watch,"
objected Van Dorn, picking up the noisy little tin box and regarding it
rather sternly, perhaps because it did not suggest something more
gratifying to the ear.

Perner scowled and scratched his head.

"I don't think so myself," he admitted, "but I've used up everything
else on the paper. I've said 'splendid,' 'magnificent,' 'grand,'
'glorious,' and all those. There isn't anything left that I can think
of. Get my Thesaurus, Stony, off the desk in the next room, and turn to
'beauty.' That'll give us a starting-point."

Livingstone obeyed, and was presently running his finger down the page.

"'Gorgeous' wouldn't quite do, would it?" he asked doubtfully.

"N-no, hardly. Look along a little farther. What comes after that?"

"Then--let's see--there's 'good-looking,' 'well-made,' 'proper,'
'shapely,' and 'symmetrical.' I don't think much of any of those, do
you?"

"Well, no," reflected Van Dorn; "however true they might be of the
proprietors, we'd hardly want to say that our watch was 'good-looking'
and 'proper.'"

"How about 'dazzling,' 'showy,' 'majestic,' 'sumptuous'?"

"Oh, pshaw, Stony, give me the book!" said Perner, impatiently. "Here,
Barry, you look. These artists don't know any more about a dictionary
than we do about a paint-shop."

Barrifield took the book and examined it a moment in silence.

"How would 'elegant' do, and 'superb'?" he asked.

"Good, but we've used them already on the paper