that's
entered my system till I intruded this peaceful scene today."

"What's all that got to do with you grabbin' that there money which I
want two dollars an' a half out of it fer them two rounds of drinks
that's on you?"

"Don't go worryin' about that. You'll get all that's comin' to you. But
a little reference to back history might fresh up your memory that I've
got four dollars change comin' from a year ago----"

"Wha'd ye mean--a year ago? I wasn't here a year ago! My brother run
this joint then. I only be'n here a couple of months."

The Texan regarded the man with puckered brow: "Well now, since you
mentioned it, there _is_ somethin' disparagin' about that face of yours
that kind of interfered with me recognizin' it off hand. The Red Front,
changin' hands that way, complicates the case to an extent that we'll
have to try it out all legal an' regular _pro bono publico_, kangaroo
court. I studied law once way back in Texas with a view to abusin' an'
evadin' the same, an' enough of it's stuck to me so we can conduct this
case _ex post facto_.

"Barkeep, you're the defendant, an' for the purposes of the forthcomin'
action your name's John Doe. You four other characters are the jury, an'
that don't leave nothin' for me to be except plaintiff, prosecutin'
attorney, judge, an' court bailiff." Jerking his gun from its holster
the cowboy grasped it by the barrel and rapped loudly upon the bar: "O
yes! O yes! You bet! Court is now open! The first case on the docket is
Horatio Benton, alias Tex, _vs._ John Doe, John Doe's brother, an' the
Red Front saloon _et al._"

"Hey, what's all this here damn nonsense about?" asked the bartender.

For answer the Texan rapped the bar with the butt of his gun: "Silence
in the court!" he roared. "An' what's more, you're fined one round of
drinks for contempt of court." Taking a match from his pocket he laid it
carefully upon the bar, and continued: "The plaintiff will take the
stand in his own behalf. Gentlemen of the jury, the facts are these: One
year ago today, along about 3:30 P.M., I walked up to this bar an' had
five drinks, one of which was on the house an' four on me at two bits a
throw. I was packin' a couple of black eyes, the particulars of which is
extramundane to this case, an' the barkeep, defendant here's alleged
brother, asked certain pertinent an' unmitigated questions concernin'
the aforesaid black eyes. In explainin' to him how they were come by, I
had occasion