"I've been doing
that for years."

THE late Dr. Doyle was applied to on one occasion by a Protestant
clergyman for a contribution towards the erection of a church. "I
cannot," said the bishop, "consistently aid you in the erection of a
Protestant church; but I will give you L10 towards the removal of the
old one." Received with thanks.

"WHAT is a curiosity, ma?" asked little Jimmy. "A curiosity is something
that is very strange, my son."--"If pa bought you a sealskin sack this
winter would that be a curiosity?"--"No, my son; that would be a
miracle."

A BRITISH and Yankee skipper were sailing side by side, and in the
mutual chaff the English captain hoisted the Union Jack and cried
out--"There's a leg of mutton for you." The Yankee unfurled the Stars
and Stripes and shouted back, "And there is the gridiron which broiled
it."

A MR. FOLLIN became engaged to a fair maid whose acquaintance he formed
on a transatlantic voyage last year. The girl's father consented to
their union and while joining their hands he said to the would-be
bridegroom, "Follin, love and esteem her."--"Of course, I will," was the
reply. "Didn't I fall in love on a steamer?"

MISS LILY, seeing a certain friend of the family arrive for dinner,
showed her joy by all sorts of affectionate caresses. "You always seem
glad when _I_ come to dinner," said the invited guest. "Oh, yes,"
replied the little girl. "You love me a great deal, then?"--"Oh, it
isn't for that," was the candid reply. "But when you come we always have
chocolate creams, you know."

PIETY THAT PAID.--"How does it happen that you joined the Methodist
church?" asked a man of a dealer in ready-made clothing. "Vell, pecause
mine brudder choined der Bresbyterians. I vas not vant der let haem git
advantage mit me."--"How get the advantage?"--"Mine brudder noticed dot
he was ein shoemaker und dot der Bresbyterians shtood oop ven dey bray.
He see dot dey vare der shoes oud in dot vay und he choins dot shurch to
hold dot trade, und prospers; so I choined der Methodists."--"What did
you gain by that?"--"Vy, der Methodists kneel down unt vare der pritches
at der knees out ven dey bray, unt dey bray long unt vare pig holes in
dem pritches. Vell, I sells clothes to dem Methodists unt makes
monish."--"But don't you have to donate considerable to the support of
the church?"--"Yah, I puts much money in dot shurch basket, but efery
time I denotes to dot shurch I marks pritches oop ten per cent, u